Dobrindts dot com...again

Little side note. We gate-checked a stroller which means we always have to wait after departing until someone comes to the conclusion that we gate checked the stroller and goes out and gets the thing. By this time the flight attendants are usually walking off the plane because for some reason no one remembers to get our stroller. I had to wait and finally the captain, yes, the actual CAPTAIN of the plane, went outside, down the metal stairs, and got our stroller. Nice guy. He also gave Emily a quick tour of the cockpit when we boarded 15 minutes earlier. The pilot, the highest paid employee around, responsible for a 50 million dollar aircraft and the lives of hundreds of people, got our 20 dollar stroller.

So I went to a ticket agent and found out we were rebooked on a 6:46 flight that evening. Great, we get to wait in the airport for 5 and a half hours with two small kids in the off chance that the later flight is not cancelled.

About an hour into waiting, I went for a walk and found two agents at the gate our flight was at. I walked up and the following conversation took place:

Me: Hi, our flight was cancelled and we have about 6 hours until our next flight. Do you offer meal vouchers?

(the two women looked at each other in perfect unison and laughed. A short burst of laughter like they were letting air out of their cheeks)

Agent Number One: (very curt and sarcastically) We do not give out meal vouchers for weather related cancellations.

Agent Number Two: (looking at the ground, mutters under hear breath) Dumb-ass.

(I walked away with my tail between my legs. How stupid of me. I am so stupid. What is wrong with me? Meal vouchers. Ha. Next time I ask they should hit me across the face for asking)

Ok, the second one didn?t say ?dumb-ass? but they were about as sarcastic as me telling a Red Sox fan who won the 1998 World Series if they were crazy enough to ask me and stupid enough to not know.

So we waited, and waited. Another side note here is that in our haste to get off the plane, we left a DVD carrying case on the plane with 10 DVDs, about 150 bucks worth of kid?s movies. When we realized it, Patti went to the gate and told the gate agents. The thought of watching Lilo and Stitch over and over all afternoon was as appealing as drinking Dennis?s fishbowl water. They said the plane was at the hangar and called over there. The hanger said the plane was not in the hanger yet and they would have the cleaning crew call that gate, F9, when they cleaned the plane. Doomed Gate F9. About half an hour later Patti went back to check and the gate agents were gone and everything was locked up. If the cleaning person actually called back, there would not have been anyone there. Didn?t the gate agents know they would be leaving eventually? Why don?t they care? About me.

So Patti found a captain and a first officer nearby and pleaded her case. Those two gentlemen called the hanger, got someone to find the thing, and drive it over. We got the DVDs back. So far the score is NWA employees who are on the plane = 2, NWA employees in the terminal = 0.

During the afternoon while we were waiting, I anticipated a cancelled flight and tried to rent a car so we could drive to Tim and Deb?s (Patti?s uncle and aunt) house to spend the night. While adventurous, the prospect of sleeping at the airport didn?t appeal to me. And I definitely didn?t want to stay at some run down hotel in a war zone near the airport. When I called Hertz?s 800 number, they were all sold out. I went through my corporate travel company, and they got the say result. I called Hertz?s airport location directly and they said the cheapest price for any car, regardless of size, was 80 bucks. When I told them I usually get a good corporate rate through my company I actually saw the guy?s eyes rolling through the phone. I then called a bunch of other rental companies and did not get anything other than a golf cart with three wheels for 95 a day plus 25 cents per mile. Oh, and Enterprise had a pack mule I could rent but had to return him fully fed.

So around 5 PM they cancelled the flight. Now I was stuck. I thought I heard somewhere once that some airlines will help passengers out with hotel accommodations in the event there is no way to get to the final destination by the end of the day. So I walked up to a ticket agent:

Me: Hi. All of my flights have been cancelled for the day and my family and I are kind of stuck here for the night. Does Northwest help out with hotel accommodations?

Ticket Agent: Are you a first class passenger?

Me: No.

Ticket Agent: Then you?re on your own.

At this point the ticket agent went back to typing something into her computer. I thought she was looking something up for me but after about 30 seconds of me standing there staring at her, I realized she was ignoring me, hoping I would go away and be on my own.

Now, some commentary here. Weather delays are not the fault of an airline. I know that. ATC does what they have to do to keep us safe. Northwest caters to business travelers just like Delta caters to me, sometimes, for flying on business a lot. In a twist of irony, the people who need help the least get it the most from Northwest. But that is life and life is not fair and that is that. BUT, the ticket agent could have been nicer. I have later learned that Northwest works with a company that helps out stranded passengers find local and cheap hotels. Why this particular agent couldn?t tell me that was beyond me. All she had to do was hand me a piece of paper with the company?s 800 number on it. Maybe she doesn?t have small children, or a soul, and couldn?t care less about anything other than waiting until her shift was over and she could go back to the Bear Den Pub in some backwater town so she could drink cheap scotch all night. I don?t know, I?m just a simple person.

I now had to get to my bags because we had a change of clothes for the kids in our carry on but could have used some stuff from our checked items, like our car seats. We made our way to baggage claim and found out that to get to our bags, we would have to wait in another line, put in a request, and there would be a minimum of 2 hours, yep, 2 hours, before they even tried to get to our bags. At this point of my stream of thought I was going to use a very dirty word to express how I felt about this option. But let?s just say I told myself to forget it, and figure something else out.

I called my corporate travel company again and got a guy who tried really hard and found a rental car with Budget that was reasonably priced and could provide two car seats, for a fee of 7 dollars each. Whatever, at least we had wheels and a place to stay.

We left around 6, stopped at a Target to get some stuff, and made it to Tim and Deb?s by 7. It was a nice night because Tim and Deb?s son, wife and 3 week old baby were there and we all had dinner. We got to catch up with them some more and talk about the wedding before getting a couple of hours sleep.

Our flight was at 7 the next morning so we got up at 4, showered, dressed and out the door. When we finally made it to the check in area, it was a zoo. Patti and Ethan went to the security line to wait while Emily and I went to get our tickets. I explained my situation, handed over my ID and after waiting a few minutes for the ticket agent/check in person to type like mad over her key board, was told some interesting news.

Ticket Agent: (looking at Emily) I see you are traveling with a small child.

Me: Actually, two small childs.

Ticket Agent: We could not get you three seats together. In fact, we can?t get you two seats together.

A quick image of Emily sitting in a middle seat between two complete strangers came to mind. I pictured me by myself, reading a book, maybe napping, Patti with Ethan, and Emily sitting alone, confused, smiling, telling other passengers she just farted, standing in her seat, hitting the flight attendant call button because it lights up, picking her nose, asking some total stranger for a movie to watch, and crawling under the seats. Maybe she would throw up too. Or get a bloody nose.

Me: As much as I might like it, this one (I pointed to Emily) cannot sit by herself.

Ticket Agent: I know. You will have to check with the gate agent for new seats.

Me: When is the next flight out?

Ticket Agent: The 10:30 is sold out so it would be 1:30 but it is pretty full so we might not be able to get all of you on.

Me: Why are you treating us like criminals?

So I walked away and got in the security line. We made it to the gate and the agent was able to get two of us together. Patti would sit in a middle seat with Ethan and Emily and I would sit together.

A short time later the gate agent made an announcement to board any passengers who need extra time to board. This almost always means handicapped passengers or those with one, or more, small kids. Perfect. We made our way through the huge crowd, it was oversold by 20 and over 50 stand-bys. Oh, before I forget. When we were standing there waiting for them to announce boarding, we saw a bunch of other passengers from the flight the day before. One guy and I talked.

Guy: How did you guys make out?

Me: Don?t ask. They did nothing for us.

Guy: That is too bad. They were going to route me through Detroit but something happened and not only did they give me a hotel for the night but a voucher for a future flight.

Me: Go (expletive deleted) yourself.

So we made our way through the crowd and walked up to the gate agent. Just as we got there, she went on the PA and announced that all first class passengers could board. 3 or 4 people boarded and I handed her our tickets.

Gate Agent: Sir, only first class passengers.

Me: You just called passengers who need extra time.

Gate Agent: That boarding group is over, now it?s first class passengers.

Patti: We needed extra time to just get to you.

Gate Agent: Please move back.

Me: You have to be joking.

Gate Agent: Nope.

So we took two steps back. This next part I wish I was making up. 10 seconds after we backed up, the gate agent looked at us, got on the PA, and announced all passengers who need extra time, first class, AND SkyMile Elite can board. It was like she was playing a game with us. ?You cannot board. Now you can. Now you can?t. Stop. Go. Stop. Go.? As Patti said, it was like a scene out of ?Meet the Parents?.

We then took a few steps forward and handed her our tickets. I said

?I am a SkyMile Elite AND need extra time, can we board now or is there some rule against David Dobrindt boarding?? Hmmm???

She didn?t like my sarcasm. Too effing bad. I was done dealing with a series of ill tempered, rude, sarcastic and uncaring Northwest employees who treat me like dirt. It was not one or two, but EVERY, SINGLE non-captain NWA employees I came into contact with. It was like NWA employees get some sort of job satisfaction by making others miserable, uncomfortable and embarrassed. At the end of the day they are measured not on customer satisfaction, but personal satisfaction by making passengers know they are in charge and there is nothing we can do about it. NWA pretty much owns Minneapolis airport and from Boston I have very little choices. But I would rather ride a moped 1500 miles than fly those morons again.

We got on the plane, the flight was packed, no one would move to allow us to sit together, the flight attendant didn?t ask Emily if she wanted something to drink, they didn?t even give her a bag of pretzels. The guy next to me was a jerk and I counted the seconds until the flight was over. But we made it, had a great visit to Minnesota, and have another war story. I am still in a little bit of shock about how incredibly rude and uncaring Northwest was. I wonder if Douglas Steenland, NWA CEO, would want to be treated like that if he was traveling with his wife and small children.