Warning. This post offers no value. None. It has no meaningful insight at the end, no hidden moral, it's not funny, it's not exciting. It offers nothing of significance other than it lets me write about a very long week and fun weekend I had. It's pretty much just filling space. Like lettuce or unbuttered toast. Or John Kerry. Nothing of value.
Last week, with the Big Dig mess still...
Last week, with the Big Dig mess still going on, I had to go to the airport 6 days in a row.
Sunday I picked up a friend.
Monday I had to go to NY, got to the airport early in the morning, and 3 of the first 4 Shuttles were canceled. By the time I could make it out, I would have missed my meeting so I set up a web conference instead.
Tuesday I went to NY.
Wednesday I went to NJ where I saw Carmela Soprano.
Thursday I went to the airport for a 5:30PM flight to Indianapolis, through Atlanta. If my flight left on time, I would have had about one hour to make my connecting flight. Due to bad weather up and down the east coast, it was delayed. They never pulled away from the gate so they let us get on and off. They said they wouldn’t even have an update until 7PM, at which point even if we took off I would have missed my connecting flight. So I decided to take a 5AM flight out Friday morning and got back in a cab to head home.
Friday morning I got up at 3AM and went back to the airport. No issues getting to Indianapolis. Had a good day there and flew from Indianapolis, through Cinci in a first class seat, to LaGuardia in NY to meet up with my family who had left mid week to stay with my wife’s parents in the Hamptons, NY for a long weekend. Great time of year to be on the east end of Long Island.
Quick side bar. My meeting in Indianapolis ran over so I was very late getting to the airport for my flight to NY. I got to the ticket counter and was not able to check in using the kiosk. The ticket agent told me that I would miss my flight so I had to call to reschedule.
“You don’t know me. Give me the ticket, I’ll make it.”
I kind of felt like Jimmy Chitwood at the end of Hoosiers.
So with 7 minutes until my flight left, I got my ticket, made it through security and got on my flight damnit. Hey ticket agent, how do you like them apples?
I got into NY around 9:30, hopped into a Hertz rental and drove like a maniac out to the Hamptons. Driving on NY freeways is much different than Mass roads. They both have their good points and bad points, but the one big difference I found is that in NY people drive slow in the left lane a lot. In Mass, for the most part, slower drivers stay out of the left lane, or if they are passed by someone in the middle, they look guilty, like they were caught there by mistake. In NY, people doing the actual speed limit in the left lane are just coasting along, not a care in the world, as cars zip by them in the two right lanes. It’s kind of annoying.
So I got in late Friday night and met up with my in-laws and my wife. My father-in-law is at the end of a two year renovation project on his house and he is putting in some of the finishing touches. Looks good. Funny thing about late Friday night, as I approached being awake for 21 hours, I didn’t really feel tired.
Saturday we got up to a perfect weather day. Sunny, warm, slightly humid, soft breeze. The sun as bright as a Mensa child. We were heading to a birthday party that is put on by my friend Pete, the best man at my wedding, for his two kids. Pete is a very successful business owner and is wealthy. Very wealthy. His summer parties are notorious. You name it, he has it. Petting zoo, horse rides, two story water slide, performers, face painting, cotton candy, trackless train, catered food with wait staff, bartender, lifeguard, they even brought in Build a Bear for all the kids. It’s crazy. But for me I get the added bonus of seeing some friends I don’t get to see that much from living in Boston.
So Saturday morning I returned the rental car and we ran some errands. We got ready and then headed in land from the east end to where my friend lives. We had a great time at the party and headed back in the evening.
Saturday night nothing special happened. Hung out with my in-laws and got some sleep.
Sunday morning I decided that since 1) the day was suppose to be really hot and humid and 2) I hadn’t had anything to eat and 3) I had a beer or two the day before so was dehydrated, that I would go for my long run as part of my marathon training schedule. In the Hamptons there is Dune Road, one of the wealthiest roads in the country. It’s basically a strip of land that has the bay on one side and the Atlantic ocean on the other. It has multi million dollar homes along it. The kind of homes that cost crazy money.
So armed with nothing but my iPod Nano, I set off. First, I got lost. I thought I knew the way but after running about 3 miles I missed the turn that I was suppose to make. So instead of running about 6 miles to get to a bridge to take me to Dune Road, I ran about 10 miles. By the time I hit the bridge, I was done. It was about 10 in the morning, the sun was blazing, it was humid as hell, I had taken my shirt off and I was dying. I needed water and more importantly, I was feeling the affect of heat illness. Definitely not something serious but I knew that I couldn’t do the entire 16 miles that I had planned.
I got over the bridge and made it to a resident-only beach house. For those who live on Long Island, these places are popular, like Jones Beach or TOBAY. It’s a field house that has bathrooms, a concession stand, outdoor showers and parking. I figured I’d call Patti on her cell, tell her to bring the kids and some water, and we would just stay at the beach. Our plan was to take the kids to the beach anyway, so since I was there, life was easy.
Well, let me tell you a couple of things with trying to use a pay phone without money. First, you cannot call collect to a cell phone. You cannot charge a call to a home number if someone at that home number is not there to accept. So far I was sunk. I only knew Patti’s cell phone, I didn’t know her parent’s number, and since we were in NY, there was obviously no one to accept the charges on our home number. I even told the operator, who was a total jerk, all 4 of them I ended up talking to after they kept disconnecting me, that the home owner was ME, that I was ON THE PHONE with them, that I WOULD accept the charges, but no luck.
So I thought I’d call information to get Patti’s parents number. It requires 50 cents. I didn’t have it. I thought about begging for 50 cents from one of the people who recently got out of their Hummer or Porsche SUV, but I was dripping in sweat, had no shirt on, a Boston Red Sox cap and was starting to get sunburned. They might call the cops.
So I went to some pimply faced teen-ager working the concession stand and asked if I could use a phone. I explained my predicament. This kid handed me 50 cents to make a local call. GREAT. I would get Patti’s parents local number and call them collect. This kid saved me.
I dropped the 50 cents in the phone, which was rusted because it is at the beach and exposed to the elements, gave the operator the exact address which I knew, and Patti’s father’s name. The operator confirmed everything and said “One moment please”.
I then got a pre-recorded message. “At the account’s request, the number is not available.”
CRAP. AND they kept my 50 cents.
My other option was to ask someone walking by to borrow a cell phone. But if I feared asking for 50 cents, no freakin way I was asking for a cell phone.
The only option left was to forge on and finish the run. I had stopped now for about 10 minutes and caught my breath. There was fresh water in the outdoor shower so I took a long drink, wiped down, and decided to move on. For a brief second I thought about heading on to the beach and laying there for an hour or so, to try to think of an option, but if there was no plan C at the time, an hour of sunbathing would not get me there.
I got back on Dune Road and started to run. About 2 miles later I knew I would never make it. I had about 9 miles to go and I was sunk. Now it was closer to 11AM and really hot. I needed water. And I needed someone to come get me. Even walking home would not be an option. It would take forever.
I spotted another smaller town beach facility. It had a guard house to collect money for cars entering the parking lot. From a distance it looked like the other one, with a concession stand and other facilities. I walked up to it. I needed water bad so I immediately went to the outdoor shower. I let the water run for a minute to get it cold, made my hands into a shape of a bowl, filled it up with water, and took a long gulp.
It was sea water. Splaaatttt. I immediately spit it out like I just drank lighter fluid. I had just taken a long drink of salt water. Crap.
I went to the bathroom but big signs everywhere “Water Not For Drinking”.
No payphone, although I have no idea what else I would have done if I found one. No concession stand either.
Drastic times call for drastic measures. I went to the gate house collecting fees and approached a teenage girls collecting money. I quickly had a vision of a scene from Clockwork Orange where the bad guy says that his friend is in the road bleeding and he needs to use a phone.
“Hey, I’m visiting my in-laws and got turned around. Is there a phone I could borrow to call someone local? Please”
It was weak but I didn’t have the energy to come up with a lie. She said there was not a phone, but looked at me and must have felt bad. Covered in sweat. Face red. She pointed me to the inside of the house.
Two other people were in there, another girl and a guy. I looked at the guy and told him basically the same thing. He handed me his cell phone. YES. Savior. I called Patti’s cell phone.
Ring. Ring. Ring. Ring. Ring.
Uh oh. I didn’t think of what would happen if she didn’t answer. No use calling my own cell phone. Miles from a house that I didn’t own, no one to call, no money, no ID. I was a gonner.
She picked up.
Me: “Hey, can you come and get me. I got lost and ran 10 miles before even getting to Dune Road. I am about halfway between the Hamptons and Quogue.”
Patti: “Sure, are you ok?”
At this point I felt pretty stupid . I just realized that I ran too far without the proper preparation, I left with no way to communicate with anyone, not even writing down a local number, and had to beg to use some kid’s cell phone.
I had hit rock bottom. At least runner’s rock bottom.
So I told Patti I would be walking on the road. I was not going to just sit there damnit, even if it killed me.
So I started walking by these 10 million dollar homes and about 20 minutes later Patti pull up with all three kids in the car.
Tail, get between legs. And start going by the name “mary”. Start the walk of shame. Get in the car and don’t make eye contact. Ashamed is too light of a word to describe me. I will speak of this to no one, ever, for as long as I live.
We ended up later going to the beach, which on Long Island, are some of the nicest beaches in the world. Soft sand, no rocks, beautiful. Patti’s brother, his girlfriend and her 4 year old son met us.
Later that night we had a birthday party for Ethan. His birthday is August 5 but Patti’s family was not going to be there for a small party we are having, so we had a barbeque while in NY. It was kind of fun because to be honest, Ethan gets the short end of the stick. Emily is so far advanced that she often gets a lot of the attention. At least she has the ability to make herself the center of the attention. Emerson is only 6 months old so we have to focus on him, primal needs and all that. And poor Ethan, he often gets overlooked. So it was fun with him being able to blow out the candles and open gifts and stuff. Really nice evening. He’s a sweet kid. All kids went to bed late but after an exciting day.
Monday morning I worked out of Patti’s parents house and we headed back to Boston, via the cross sound ferry, later that day. While on the ferry, I saw a submarine moving up the channel while approaching the New London dock. The ferry passes the Groton submarine place and this was the first time I have ever seen one running in the water. It was really cool. Coast Guard gun boats all around it, officers on the tower waving to the ferry, huge black cylinder gliding in the water. Impressive.
We got back to our house around 6:30, all 5 of us sunburned, tired, fairly relaxed. Going to NY is always a nice time.
So there it is. A few days of my life, explained in short paragraphs. And like I told you, totally meaningless. And if you were wondering, Patti’s parents went shopping while we were at the beach and bought me a running pack with water bottles. The last thing they want is for their son-in-law to leave this world while on their watch. Thoughtful and appreciated.