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We're trying to get our 2 year old boy to go number 2 on the toilet. We've progressed from bribing him with jelly beans and lollipops to the promise of a full size basketball if he does his business on the pot instead of in his diaper.
Next will be the promise of a rocket ship or boat.
This past weekend I traveled from Boston to Minneapolis to see the Vikings play the Jets. Although I live in New England, and kind of like the Patriots, I kept my allegiance to the Jets since moving from NY. Patti's extended family lives in Minnesota and her uncle Tim, who we are close with (cousin Kara is Tim's daughter) got 4 tickets through work. So on a lark he invited me, not knowing that I would book my ticket that afternoon. One week before Christmas I headed out. Couple of points.
- First, the game was great. The Jets pretty much beat the tar out of the Vikings even though the score was closer than the actual game at 26-13. The Vikings are historically a very successful team and have a huge fan base. I know other teams do as well but there is something different about some teams - The Packers, Redskins, Cowboys, Vikings - that make their fans even more extreme. It was a blast.
- I've been to Jet games in the Meadowlands which is an outdoor arena. Sitting in the cold for 4 or 5 hours is pretty miserable. I like the environment but the weather takes away from it, at least for me. The Vikings play in the Metrodome which is covered. It was about 70 degrees in the stadium while it was cold outside. It was a much more enjoyable game, again, at least to me because some will say the fans and the players are soft because they are basically in a large living room watching the game, but I loved it.
- The Metrodome is known for its noise because it is enclosed. While Kara said it was not as noisy as it usually is, I thought at times it was like sitting near an airplane taking off. More for the fun.
- The Viking symbol is a, well, Viking I guess, a blonde guy with a fu-man-chu mustache wearing a hat with horns sticking out of them. It was unbelievable how creative people got with different versions of this. Some had fake plastic ones, some that were fuzzy and purple and some with actual real ones that could have been worn in actual combat. Good stuff. It's not the Jets fireman hat, but its cool.
- There is a Vikings fight song, called Skol, Vikings, that is sung after the team scores. The Vikings scored right away and after the extra point everyone started singing. I asked Kara what was going on and she pointed to the score board where they had the words to it...
Skol Vikings! Let's win this game
Skol Vikings! Honor your name.
Go get that first down
Then get a touchdown
Rock 'em, sock 'em, FIGHT, FIGHT, FIGHT! FIGHT!
Go Vikings, run out the score, you'll hear us yell for more!
V-I-K-I-N-G-S
Skol Vikings, let's go!
While they were singing these people ran around the field with flags that spelled out the team name. It was awesome. I wanted the score to be like 49-47 (in favor of the Jets of course) just so I could sing the fight song. The next and last time the Vikings scored I sang along. I need a good fight song to play after I battle the kids.
- I knew I was among true hardcore fans when, in the second quarter, they started booing the starting quarterback because they were not winning. Then they cheered like it was the beginning of the world when they scored a meaningless touchdown in the second half. You gotta love fans who stay tuned to the game when things are bad.
- They inflate this large blow up viking ship that the players run out of when they first enter the field. Fireworks go off, which I'll admit I was not ready for and made me jump. I wonder how many rabid fans have purchased a similar blow up viking ship for their backyard.
- The other great part of the weekend was seeing Tim and his family. His son just had his second child and Kara's baby is 6 months. Plus I got to stay at the Tim and Deb B&B. Trust me, the best place to stay when visiting Minneapolis. Warm and comfortable bed, private living room and bathroom and three squares a day.
So great football game, fun weekend, time to read on the flight to and from. I'll post some pictures I took after I download them.
PS. From Wikipedia...
Skol (written skal in Norwegian and Swedish, and sometimes "Skoal" in English) is the Norwegian/Swedish/Danish word for a salute or a toast, as to an admired person or group. The meaning of the Scandinavian skalli/skalle: skal means simply "shell" and skal/skal "bowl". There is a popular misconception that the toast comes from the mythical habit of Vikings to drink from cups made from the skulls of their defeated enemies.
Some of the symbols over the letters didn't come out in the blog. If you are really interested, click here
Oh, there is something else I forgot. When they try to get the crowd fired up, or the crowd is going wild after a good play, they play this sound that is like a horn blowing, not a car horn, like a horn taken off an animal. It sounds like something a viking would play when they are getting ready to send other vikings into battle. Something else I wish I could play when I know the kids are getting ready to be trouble. I have a wave file of both the horn and the song if anyone is interested.
I'll admit I'm not the biggest Rosie O'Donnell fan even though I saw her show in person once, many years ago. Patti's friend was a page for the show and we got good seats. But just because I don't like her doesn't mean she is not a bad person, just not my thing.
Last week on the show The View, Rosie O'Donnell made fun of Chinese people.
From www.families.com...
"On December 5th, O'Donnell was commenting on actor Danny DeVito's inebriated visit to the show when she broke out in what is now being called by the Asian-American community an "offensive accent." On the show O'Donnell said: "The fact is that it's (DeVito's drunken appearance) news all over the world. That you know, you can imagine in China it's like: "Ching chong. Danny DeVito, ching chong, chong, chong, chong. Drunk. The View. Ching chong.'""
I saw the clip on YouTube and it was as bad as it sounds. The only thing she didn't do was squint her eyes and stick out her front upper teeth.
So this sanctimonious hypocrite can rip Kelly Ripa for being homophobic, embarrass Tom Selleck on her TV show, attack Mayor Guiliani for cleaning up drunks on the streets of NY, equate fanatical anti-abortion crazies with basic Christians, degrade the NRA and try to come across as this politically correct ultra liberal, but when she takes some heat for making fun of Asians she gets offended. Hey, Rosie, if I did that at my job I would get fired. But you do it and call it comedy? Seriously, if I acted like that at a bar or at a party, people would look at me like I was the biggest jerk in the room. But she does it, and tells others to lighten up, that it was a joke.
Look, I have no issue with Rosie making fun of Asians. I might not find it funny, but it's a free country and people can do what they want. But don't be a hypocrite about it.
Quick note to the guy sitting next to me on the American Airlines death trap puddle jumper I was forced in to last night coming home.
"There is someone in the effing seat next to you buddy. I'm sorry your so huge, maybe cutting down on the fried stuff will help, but sitting back with your arms extending OVER the middle armrest into my side, and touching my arm which I cannot stand please give me some room it makes me uncomfortable to be touched by a stranger, is not proper etiquette. But I should have known you are inconsiderate because you put your seat back as far as it could go even though there is just about no room on those tiny flights. All my subtle and not so subtle hints didn't work either. You didn't pick up when I exaggerated and leaned into the aisle to give you more of MY space to spread out. You didn't pick up when I leaned forward and hunched over the tray while reading. and you didn't pick up when I looked directly at you and said "back, back animal, back to your cage" while making a whip cracking sound. Nope, nothing worked, so I had to endure for the blessedly short flight back to Boston. And something tells me you were totally oblivious to others around you. Not sure what's worse, someone who does it on purpose or someone who has no clue. At least the person who does it on purpose makes a choice to be a jerk and hopefully will show some remorse when they sober up. But the stupid and dim-witted I so often come across just go through life bugging other people and don't realize it. Uh oh, maybe I'm one of those stupid and dim-witted. Maybe I do things that bug other people. Maybe Dave's the problem. Hmm. Nope, not me. It was you fat boy."
like Barak Obama despite his odd name. I heard him on NPR a couple of months ago and he was self deprecating (he said on his first day in the Senate, as a freshman Senator, he was handed a pile of pencils to sharpen), he's articulate, good educated and he made a nice speech in 2004. I'm a little surprised on how much he is being considered for president considering he is a novice in politics, but he is a smart guy and people seem to like him.
By the way, the "good educated" comment was a joke, so lighten up professor.
I'm a little unclear on his political views because there's not a lot out there on him. Sure, he opposes the Iraq war, but that's not uncommon among Democrats, or even Republicans. I know he's against gay marriage but approves civil unions. He opposes privatization of Social Security. He's pro-choice. Maybe I need to read the Chicago papers more.
The other day, when asked if he thinks people will not vote for him because he is black, he answered to the effect that he does think some people are racists and won't vote for him, but those are the same people who don't agree with his politics and would not have voted for him anyway.
When I first heard the audio clip on 96.9 I was like "what the eff is he talking about? Because someone doesn't agree with basic liberal doctrine, they are a racist?" That's a little strong, don't you think Bacharach?
I know what he was trying to say I think. That liberals are open minded and accepting and republicans are close minded and don't want African Americans or women-folk in office. That democrats are intelligent enough to vote based on what is best for this country regardless of race, skin color, gender while republicans want one of their good old boys running the show. Ok, I get that.
The thing I wonder is if there is some racist far left-wing nut job sitting in his or her office at Dartmouth or Bentley College who was just insulted for being called a republican.
It's that time of year again when we put the kids on the lap of some strange man
The first year Ethan (middle child) didn't freak.
I remember the first time I really thought about the gifts for the 12 days of Christmas.
On the first day of Christmas my true love sent to me A partridge in a pear tree.
Woh, slow down. Let's get through our first Christmas before we start throwing around words like "true love". And is a live bird really the best gift to give? Why be so specific with the type of fruit tree you shoot the bird out of? What if pear trees are hard to grow in, say, the harsh New England climate? We're getting off to a bad start if this is the gift on day one.
On the second day of Christmas my true love sent to me Two turtle doves
While I like pigeons and doves, they taste like chicken, finding a dove that is indigenous to Europe and Africa might be hard in the states. But I guess getting two would be nice, that way we have left-overs.
On the third day of Christmas my true love sent to me Three French hens
What's with the birds? I got a partridge and two doves crapping all over my house, now you want to add a socialist chicken with a taste for wine? Maybe I'll staple a beret to their heads to make the kids laugh.
On the fourth day of Christmas my true love sent to me Four calling birds
I'm getting worried about your fascination with birds, I now count 10. And what will I get with a calling bird? It's not a species to the best of my limited knowledge. Maybe it refers to birds that sing, but I think most birds sing so what the heck?
On the fifth day of Christmas my true love sent to me Five golden rings
Now we're talking. Suddenly you go from giving things you can capture with a little sweat and effort to giving gold jewelry? Did your IPO spike or were you lucky with the Vikings last Sunday. Either way, give me those rings and clear the path to the pawn shop.
On the sixth day of Christmas my true love sent to me Six geese a-laying
Now we're back to the birds. But instead of something pretty, I get to watch these annoying poop-dropping geese give birth, a wonderful present around Christmas. Why not a gift certificate to watch the dentist. Unless these geese are laying golden eggs, keep them away from me.
On the seventh day of Christmas my true love sent to me Seven swans a-swimming
For crying out loud, enough with the freakin birds. What IS your fascination with these creatures? Swans are pretty and swimming is a graceful motion, but I have no pond, no lake, I don't have a swimming pool and if they get loose in the local stream they'll be attacked by the ducks. Nice thought though.
On the eighth day of Christmas my true love sent to me Eight maids a-milking
I like the idea of eight maids, especially the Scandinavian kind if you get my drift, but can they clean my house and stay away from the cows or whatever they plan on a-milking. And if there are eight of them in my small house, I better be able to eat off the top of the armoire or they are coming back to finish the job.
On the ninth day of Christmas my true love sent to me Nine ladies dancing
Don't you mean a-dancing. All month you give me a bunch of birds and suddenly I get 8 maids and 9 chicks dancing. Why the sudden change in attitude? What kind of dancing and for how long, who supplies the music and if they bring a pole can I call over some friends?
On the tenth day of Christmas my true love sent to me Ten lords a-leaping
How much did it cost you to get lords to jump in the air as a Christmas present? I'm kind of interested in this one, I'll be honest. It's original and simple. I like it.
On the eleventh day of Christmas my true love sent to me Eleven pipers piping
I hope they are bag pipes, eleven of those would sound GREAT in my living room. It might scare the cat so added bonus.
On the twelfth day of Christmas my true love sent to me twelve drummers drumming
With the bag pipes I bet the drums will sound awesome. Maybe I can get the dancing ladies to go on at the same time as the drums and pipes. This is going to be one hell of a party, that much I know.
Years ago when we first moved to Massachusetts I joined the Somerville Elks. It closed down and I moved to the Medford Elks where I stayed a member even though I moved to the south side of town. Every year the Elks has a Christmas party for kids of members where they give every child 9 years and younger a present and they have Santa, his elves, food, games and all that stuff.
I didn't take the kids last year but since the older two could appreciate it (4 and 2 years old), I signed all of them up, Sunday, December 3rd. I made a big deal out of it to get the kids excited about seeing Santa and getting a gift and running around having fun with other kids. This morning Patti even took them out to buy the boys matching shirts in festive colors and to get Emily tights that had a winter pattern on them. We got the kids dressed up and off we went, to the Christmas party. The kids weren't singing Christmas songs in the back seat but it was close.
I got the time wrong. I thought it was from 1-3, but it was from 11-1. We walked in at 1:10 and the place looked like, well, it looked like 80 kids hopped up on juice boxes and cake just got through. There were empty boxes and spent wrapping paper and all sorts of candy canes and holiday stuff all over the place. In fact, just as we walked in they were thanking everyone for participating in the raffle and for making it another successful year.
$#&%@#. &%#%$. $@%&@!!!!!!!!!
Damn IT!! I blew it. We were able to get the kids a gift to open but they didn't see santa, didn't get any food and had a quick juice box. It was awful. I felt about 2 inches tall. Patti tried to make things better but I felt terrible. She was much better than I would have been if the she had got the time wrong.
Ethan didn't care, he had a box with toy trucks for the ride home. And Emerson is 10 months old so he was clueless. But Emily pretty much cried the entire way home. I tried to tell her I made a mistake and got the time wrong, but that doesn't help a 4 year old who didn't get to play at the party, didn't get to see Santa and didn't get to have a candy cane. I'm usually pretty strict with the kids about not complaining when things don't go their way, but this time I couldn't be hard on her.
By the time we got home she was feeling better but I could tell she was still upset. But by the time I took her to swimming later in the day she was fine. She even told the waitress at dinner later in the night that she went to a party and didn't look over at me with squinted and sarcastic eyes. She understood, we all make mistakes.
So next I think I'll burn down the Christmas tree and try to run over the Easter bunny.