Dobrindts dot com...again

Staples, the office supply store, promotes a feature on its web site where you can upload a file, like a Christmas newsletter, fill out a work order, and pick it up at one of their stores a short time later. To me this was great since I wanted to have them print out 75 copies of something, double sided, in color, but didn’t feel like driving to Dorchester to drop it off and then back a couple of hours later to pick it up. I like doing as much as I can online.

I thought that it was simple, I know Staples spends a lot of money on technology, and it seemed an easy process. I put the order in, a process management tool will alert the store, someone would download my Word document and print my order.

Well, filling out the order online was easy, picking it up…not so much. I had Emily and Emerson, 5 and 20 months, yesterday because Patti was at the hospital with Ethan. I had some running around to do (drop off the prescriptions for Ethan’s meds) and wanted to go to the gym, and thought I could pick up the copies while coming home. So I left with the two kids around 3:30, dropped off the scripts, and went to the gym. I left the gym around 6, picked up the meds and some food, and headed to the Staples store in Dorchester. At this point, it was around 7, Emerson was tired and hungry, Emily was being good but was restless since she was on the go right after school. My point is that by the time I got to Staples, it was a huge pain in the a** to keep the kids calm. Long afternoon and we were all tired.

I went to pick up the copies and guess what? Yep, you got it, they weren’t ready. In fact, the two girls working the copy center looked at me like I told them I was going to strip naked and dance when I informed them I ordered online (after they couldn’t find my order). They were nice enough but it seemed that getting something online was like building a time machine. It took them about 15 minutes to figure out where my file was. Then another 15 minutes to figure out how to download it. As I was waiting, Emerson was going bonkers. Fortunately, Emily was being great and kept walking him up and down the aisles. But every now and then he wanted to climb a ladder or take crap off the shelves, and I would have to grab him and he would start crying. Hey, I don’t like crying babies, but it was about 2 hours past his normal dinner time and right at the time he usually goes to bed. And we were still not home. Ugh.

When they finally got the document loaded, it took about 5 minutes to print the letters. And I had to pay extra for speedy delivery. What a joke. When I ordered online at noon, it charged me an extra 4 dollars to have it done by the end of the day, whenever that is. I guess the end of the day was 30 minutes after I told them I put my order online.

I was very nice during the entire thing, my new attempt at remaining calm and not being a jerk in front of my kids. As I was about to leave, I said

“What should I need to do next time, so the order is ready?”

Copy center lady “You should call the store to let us know you put in an order on the web.”

Me “should I also bring the document into the store, you know, as backup?”

Apparently driving it there is faster than the world wide web.

The joke went over her head.

Ugh.

Posted by David at 11:35 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

almost never fly anyone but Delta. I love Delta. But for a trip Patti and I are taking in July to Salt Lake City, Delta wanted too much money for airfare. Originally I was going to use miles, but normal miles could not be used, so I would have to use special miles which were like double normal first class miles to fly in the bathroom. So I opted out.

I decided to monitor the travel sites, like Expedia, Orbitz and Travelocity, daily for fares. Up until this morning, the news was not good. So this morning I saw a flight from BOS to SLC on United at a really good price. Great. I don't trust those sites, so I went to the United website to get the same airfare there and book it. Bad idea.

First, when I put in the exact same criteria that I used at Travelocity, it came up with the same exact price, which was 314 per ticket round trip. Reasonable I thought. But when I clicked on the itinerary that I wanted, the next screen said that the fare went UP in the fraction of a second and now it was almost double, to around 590. Per ticket. What the hell is going on?

So I went back and checked on another itinerary. Same crap. Fare doubled. It happened to all four options United Airlines gave me. It was bait and switch at its best. Those bastards.

So I logged out of the site, waited about half hour, and went back. Sure enough, I got the 314 price, but when I selected the itinerary, the fare jumped up again. UGHHHH.

So I made the mistake of calling United's call center. Big mistake. The first person I got could not remember the dates that I gave her a few seconds earlier. She could not get the cities correct. Language barrier. It was a painful and excruciatingly long conversation that ended up with me saying "this is not working out, I am going to hang up now."

I tried the site again and same thing. So I, determined now to beat the system, called the call center back. Mistake number two.

This time, the guy on the other end got the dates and cities correct, and quoted me the higher price. At least no bate and switch. But when I started to ask him why the website would give me an initial quote, he quickly interrupted me, cut ME off, the nerve, and said that the website cannot be relied upon for prices. No one cuts Dave off when he is complaining. No one. GREAT!! Good thing United Airlines technology is current with its online offering.

So I hung up on the guy. Last thing I wanted was a lecture.

I ended up booking through Travelocity which gave me the lower price. Wish me luck, first time I did something like that.

Thought I'd share.

Posted by David at 12:53 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

have been pretty good lately with my complaints. I've laid off the airlines, hotels, car rental companies, big box chain stores. But Comcast is daily becoming about as bad of a company as I have ever dealt with. It's going to be a long and complicated story when I get the energy to write it down. I've kept a log of all of my calls and right now it looks something like this

- Issue Number One. I wanted to change the caller ID that shows up when I call out. 9 months and 14 calls to get it down, plus three faxed in requests. IT is done. Halleluiah.

- Issue Number Two. I wanted a second line added for a home office number. They gave me the run around for 4 months, with 11 calls and 4 technicians coming out, to be told they will only do it if I move to VOIP, and not with a land line. I had VOIP with SunRocket, a Vonage competitor, and it was useless. But Comcast forced me to go to VOIP and its been a disaster.

- Issue Number Three. VOIP has been a disaster. I've had 6 technicians come to the house with 18 calls to Comcast, and still not working well. VOIP for me is like talking on a cell phone in my basement or while driving around some hick town. It might work OK but only about 50% if the time, if I am lucky.

- Issue Number Four. I gave up, Comcast defeated me. I cancelled my home office VOIP line with Comcast because it was having a negative affect on my work. It was worse than using a cell phone. I had to use my Blackberry while standing in the corner of a closet on the second floor or I went to a neighbor's house to use their land line. Not joking. Comcast VOIP was useless. So I I went with Verizon land line. The port over issue has been a nightmare with Comcast canceling both lines. Now my regular family line, which I wanted to keep with Comcast, is not working, has not been working since March 7 UNLESS it is plugged right in to the modem, and they will not even help me with it until March 19 for reason I am unclear about.

Comcast has defeated me. I am broken. I have a Word document with over 40 calls and interactions with Comcast on several issues, and I still don't have a house phone that works. And the sad thing is Comcast won't fix it.

When it does get back to working, since Comcast's VOIP is terrible BUT they are a utility company, AND they refuse to give me back to landline which I begged and pleaded for them to do, even offering 2,000 dollars to them if they moved me back, I plan on calling every, single, time there is the slightest problem with my phone. If I suddenly can't hear someone because VOIP sucks, I am calling. Since Comcast made me go to VOIP and will not move me back to a landline, I will call them until they give me the same call quality as a regular land line, which I knew was a mistake getting rid of despite Comcast's assurance it will be just as good as a land line.

Comcast on demand Cable TV is great, I love although it is crazy expensive, the internet services is fine but kind of inconsistent, but their phone service has me limping along.

They broke me, but I will be back.

Posted by David at 01:31 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

I've laid off complaining about service and utility companies lately, mostly because I got tired of complaining, but get ready for a doozy about Comcast. I use Comcast for internet, TV and two phone lines and this one is about my phone service.

I have to warn you though, it is long, complicated and boring story that ends badly, kind of like The English Patient. But it's a story I have to tell because I've documented every single interaction and phone call and it's not pretty.

Stayed tuned for more.

Posted by David at 01:38 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Quick note to the guy sitting next to me on the American Airlines death trap puddle jumper I was forced in to last night coming home.

"There is someone in the effing seat next to you buddy. I'm sorry your so huge, maybe cutting down on the fried stuff will help, but sitting back with your arms extending OVER the middle armrest into my side, and touching my arm which I cannot stand please give me some room it makes me uncomfortable to be touched by a stranger, is not proper etiquette. But I should have known you are inconsiderate because you put your seat back as far as it could go even though there is just about no room on those tiny flights. All my subtle and not so subtle hints didn't work either. You didn't pick up when I exaggerated and leaned into the aisle to give you more of MY space to spread out. You didn't pick up when I leaned forward and hunched over the tray while reading. and you didn't pick up when I looked directly at you and said "back, back animal, back to your cage" while making a whip cracking sound. Nope, nothing worked, so I had to endure for the blessedly short flight back to Boston. And something tells me you were totally oblivious to others around you. Not sure what's worse, someone who does it on purpose or someone who has no clue. At least the person who does it on purpose makes a choice to be a jerk and hopefully will show some remorse when they sober up. But the stupid and dim-witted I so often come across just go through life bugging other people and don't realize it. Uh oh, maybe I'm one of those stupid and dim-witted. Maybe I do things that bug other people. Maybe Dave's the problem. Hmm. Nope, not me. It was you fat boy."

Posted by David at 10:38 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Oh for Christ’s sake, Delta, get it right. Your call center system is terrible. I have been traveling on the Delta Shuttle twice a week since June. Other than an occasional flight attendant that hates people, or at least Shuttle passengers, I love it. What I hate is your phone system. Because I travel so much and things always change, I probably call your Silver medallion 800 number 2 or 3 times a week. The number is 1-800-325-6330. I call it directly. When I finally get past the automated voice (I’m sorry, I didn’t get that, let me connect you to a person), the following happens. And trust me, it doesn’t happen every now and then, it doesn’t happen 50 or 90% of the time, it happens every…single…effing…time…I…call.

Some global resource person sitting in a run down office building on the coast of India answers. They are pleasant enough and I usually have to speak a little slower than I normally would or I will have to repeat myself.

Me: Hello. I am on the 5:30 shuttle from NY to Boston and would like to change it to 6:30.

Phone person than asks me for my confirmation number, ticket number, whatever after they repeat back my question.

Now, here is where the problem starts. For some reason I do not get to the Silver line. So I have to give the call center person all of my information and explain, slowly and in detail, my issue. After doing that, they realize I am a Silver medallion and tell me they have to transfer me to the Silver medallion desk. And guess what? When I get to the Silver medallion desk, I have to give all of my information again. My skymiles number, my ticket number, an explanation of my problem. It’s like a horrible version of Ground Hog’s Day.

One time I even confirmed the number. I said “What is the Silver number so I can dial it directly. I just dialed 800-325-6330. What is the number I should dial� and the response was “Please call 1-800-325-6330 next time.� Huh? What?? Why do you mock me?? Why not LISTEN to what I just told you. I DO dial that number directly, it’s on my one-touch call feature on my cell phone. Trust me. I dial it directly. How the (expletive deleted) do I get to the Silver line directly if I am ALREADY dialing the stupid number. I DO DIAL IT DIRECTLY…you bad bad person.

So anyway, for a while I just asked the person if they could take care of it without transferring me. They follow the rules and do not help me. So to take care of the Silver folks, they transfer, where I have to wait on hold, then go through the entire thing again. So I decided to just say, before anything is done, to just transfer me. I tell them that I know they are going to transfer me anyway, so please just do it so I only have to go through the experience once and save me the rectal exam. But do they? That’s right, no they don’t. They follow their operating procedure, which I cannot fault them for, and they force me to give them all of the information, usually a couple of times because of the language barrier, before they tell me they have to transfer me. And it’s kind of weird because it’s like they don’t remember me telling them to transfer me anyway. They never say sorry, or I was right, they simply thank me for calling or offer help with a rental car or hotel. Which is another thing. I might be an anomaly, but when I call Delta, it is usually about air travel. And airplane tickets. I will not suddenly realize I need help with a rental car or hotel. Delta is not a travel agent, so stick to your core competency. Why not offer roofing or aluminum siding?

So like I was saying, I try to just explain that they should transfer me. One time I called three times in one hour because I would give my information, and they would transfer me, and then I was on hold for at least 5 minutes. When on a cell phone, with a maximum amount of minutes per months before you start paying 15 bucks a second, 5 minutes on hold is forever.

Look, Delta has other things to worry about, I know that. Bankruptcy, funding their pension plan, high fuel costs, grumpy flight attendants. But I have to call at least 2 or 3 times a week and I go through this every single time. It’s annoying. Maybe I am doing something wrong and need to enter a magical combination of key strokes to actually get to the Silver desk, or maybe everyone goes through this and it’s their way of having fun. Who knows? It just bugs me.

Posted by David at 11:06 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

I am using dial up right now at the NY Hilton on 6th and 54th. You want to know why? Because this hotel treats me like DIRT. I swear that I was treated better before I was Diamond Hilton Honors level. I used to get coupons for free takeout breakfast, now I don't even though lower levels of Hilton Honors get them. I used to get a room on a high floor, now I don't. I used to get rooms with small comforts like, I don't know, shampoo and soap, now I don't. I used to get a free bottle of water in my room, now I don't. My freakin rooms used to have internet access that actually worked, now I get to use dial up after trying to connect for two hours and spending almost all of that time on the phone with technical support. The (expletive deleted) TV used to work and now I have to get up and turn it off manually, the phone on the desk used to work and when my room smelled like smoke and I asked for a new one they USED TO OBLIGE. Oh, they set up a special desk in the lobby for Diamond level guests so that I can get treated more rudely then the regular check in, hell, the computer kiosks have more of a personality. In fact, I should use the kiosks from now on because at least I won’t walk away feeling like I bothered someone. I hate this hotel and I curse the Hilton name, except for Paris Hilton who is strange.

Sorry, I needed to vent. At least my room is not covered in large spiders and there are no snakes under my bed, I think. Plus, the bed is comfortable.

Posted by David at 05:25 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Things with the NY Hilton have been pretty good the last month or two. Not so much because the actual hotel has changed, but I have been working with two specific people, one at the hotel, one part of their 800 number, who have been extraordinary. I am now a Diamond Hilton Honors level, which is the highest level, I think, you can be. One of the benefits according to their website is that I am guaranteed a room if I call 48 hours in advance. I am at the hotel this week and realized I needed to extend my stay until Friday, so I called last night to change my check out date from Thursday to Friday, which is more than 48 hours in advance.

Me: (over the phone with a hotel person) Hi, I am scheduled to check out on Thursday but would like to extend to Friday.

Hotel Person: Please hold

(I hold the phone for 5 minutes while waiting, then put it down on speaker phone for another 5)

Hotel Person: I’m sorry but we are sold out Thursday night, we cannot extend your stay.

Me: (confidently, knowing I have the Diamond in my back pocket, a little surprised they didn’t know that with their magical computer that identifies what room is calling) Hmm…but I am a diamond level, I thought I was guaranteed a room if I book far enough in advance.

Hotel Person: That doesn’t apply when the hotel is sold out.

Me: (waiting for her to laugh, thinking she was joking…still waiting…silence…dawns on my she is not joking) Huh? A guaranteed room only applies if the hotel has availability?

Hotel Person: Yes sir.

Me: (losing a tiny bit of patience, but know that her statement is as far off as me jumping up in a business meeting and demanding a silver goblet of goat blood) That makes no sense. If the hotel is not sold out, why do I need a guaranty?

Hotel Person: The Diamond Level desk will be open tomorrow morning, could you call back then?

Me: Sure (I whisper as I hang up the phone) Dance jester, dance.

Posted by David at 05:12 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Song, Delta’s low fare carrier, is not longer the target of my ire. I am not traveling to the city that Song flies to and I take the wonderful Delta Shuttle to my new location, New York City. The new target of my complaining is going to be the New York Hilton.

I have been staying at this hotel every week for the past 6 weeks. Every…single…time…I check in they treat me like it was my first time in NY and the first time in their hotel. Here is how the exchange usually goes.

I wait in the Hilton Honors check-in line forEVER while the non Honors line moves like the conga at my friend Ray’s wedding. When I finally get called up, I shake the dust of my suitcase and wipe the cobwebs that have formed around my neck.

Me: Hi, checking in for the week.

I hand over my ID and credit card.

Clerk: (in a monotone and disingenuous voice) Hello Mr. (terrible pronunciation of my name), welcome to the NY Hilton, we are glad to have you.

Me: (mutter under my breath) No you’re not, stop lying you lying liar. You hate me.

Me: Thanks, I have two questions when you’re ready.

Clerk: (with no expression at all other than utter discontent that I am bothering him/her). Go ahead.

Me: Can I have a room on a high floor and is there any way I can have access to the concierge room.

Clerk: (doesn’t even think for a split second, response is faster than my buddy Jay reaching for a free beer). You are not a diamond level and have not purchased this option and our policy states...blah blah blah. (clerk launches into a long scripted response about policy and they cannot do this and there is no way that I am getting this).

Clerk: Let me see about the high floor…kind of tight today…not looking good…really full…highest I can do is 8…we are so freakin busy my eyes are going to pop…holy mother of God there is no way we can do high floor…you stupid ugly goat-kissing jerk how can you ask for a high floor…OUT of here right now and sleep on the street...asking for a high floor…who the (expletive deleted) do you think you are…Paris Hilton or something…high floor…jerk.

Ok, that last one was made up. I usually get a polite answer for my options. Never an issue with the floor.

Clerk hands me my key.

Clerk: Elevators are around the lobby to the left.

Me: I have been here six weeks in a row, I know where they are.

Clerk: Hope you enjoy your stay.

Me: Shut up! No you don’t. You hope I DON’T enjoy my stay. I will get to my room and it will smell like smoke and the bathroom will smell like elephant dung was recently hidden in there. Then I will find out that there is no wired broadband connection and the wireless in that room is spotty. Then I will get either a flat panel plasma that takes 3 seconds for each channel to materialize or a regular TV with dead batteries in the remote. And oh yeah the bathroom will not have shampoo or there will be dirty cue tips on the floor and the air conditioner will be loud I know it because there is SOMETHING wrong every single time I am here and when I try to remedy it things only get worse. Then I will be charged for a mini-bar item even though I told them to keep the key and there will be an extra charge for the internet use how can I be charged three times in a 24 hour period after the stupid thing DIDN’T EVEN WORK!!! Then the clerk will tell me she will take care of it but the computers are down and that is a ruse to get me to leave and she will not do anything and I will not realize it until I do my expenses three weeks later WHY DO YOU HATE ME SO I pay what you ask for your tiny run down rooms. And in the off chance I leave something in the room after I check out like I recently did with my iPod Shuffle I can kiss that goodbye and what will you say to me? Nothing. Not an apology for not being able to retrieve my item. Not a sorry that it disappeared somehow. Nothing after I have to leave 4 messages to NOT get a return call from lost and found and have to go through security and not have one…single…call…back…from anyone. And what will I do to reward the Hilton chain which is a laughing stock because of a silly media whore named Paris? I’ll book 3 nights a week for the next 2 months. All because I have committed to building my Hilton points. That one single dumb reason is why I will come back week after week and endure your torment.

Clerk: Have a free breakfast coupon.

Posted by David at 05:34 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

I freakin left my iPod Shuffle in at the New York Hilton hotel when I checked out this morning. AAAAHHHHHHHHH. CRAP!!! I went for a run last night and hung the iPod, which was in a waterproof case that hangs around your neck, and hung it up on a hook in the closet to dry out…PLUS a new set of running earphones, PLUS a hat, all in the closet. And I LEFT IT THERE. AAAHHHHHHHHH. Of course I called the hotel and of course no one turned it in. Now, I am not saying the housekeeping staff is less than ethical, but they didn’t turn it in. To their credit, they could have missed it and the person who checked into the room after me could have found it and taken it. True. But a couple of years ago when I left my Palm Pilot in a Hertz car in Philadelphia, it was gone forever. So someone, somewhere, possibly a child or nephew of a low-paid chambermaid, is listening to a punk version of 99 Red Balloons. AAAAAHHHHHHGGGGRRRUUUPPP I hate that I left it there and it is gone. DAMN IT. And I can’t yell at anyone, other than the staff who didn’t take it at the New York Hilton. Oh well, at least it wasn’t the more expensive version of the iPod.

Posted by David at 09:32 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

They Told Him Don't You Ever Come Around Here
Don't Wanna See Your Face, You Better Disappear.

I can’t even stomach coming up with funny lyrics to Beat It. I was going to parody that song, or some other well known MJ song, but can’t do it.

This (expletive deleted) case is finally over. It’s a joke. This entire mockery is a joke. The entire thing makes me sick. OJ Jackson, I mean Michael Jackson, is guilty and I am as sure of that as I am that the Red Sox are evil. The thing that really bugs me about this whole train wreck is the unbelievable attention it gets on the news. FOX News, CNN, MSNBC, the major networks, all spend an inappropriate amount of time covering this circus.

I really love those lunatics who spend day after day behind a fence by the court shouting out things like “We know your innocent!� and “We love you Michael!� and “I live in the garage apartment of my parent’s house and I’m 34 and in junior college with no job and I have never had sex, with a women, but I LOVE YOU! You’re innocent. I am fat�. Should the networks cover government hearings or showcase military families whose husbands are fighting for our freedom? Of course not. Let’s cover the trial of a FREAKSHOW WHO WILL GET AWAY WITH IT!!!

This moon walking pedophile is a 45 years old who gives boys alcohol and sleeps in the same room as them. Doesn’t that seem odd to you? No? Then there’s something wrong with you. I don’t mind the strange behavior, the plastic surgery, sleeping in an oxygen chamber, having a pet monkey (hell, I would have a pet monkey if I could afford it), or any of the other odds things he does. He is filthy rich and can do whatever nutball non-reality thing he wants to. I, on the other hand, cannot. But he can, good for him. But showering with boys who are not his own, and sleeping in the same bed, and the rest of the disturbing things he has done is not just rich eccentric behavior, it’s odd.

The trial of that crackhead pedophile who killed Jessica Lunsford will get about 30 seconds on CNN Headline news, if that. I bet we won’t hear about it unless we live in the actual town the court is in. But because Michael Jackson is world famous and a great entertainer, I am subjected to his disturbing face on every other channel. It’s a joke and I am sick of it. I hope this guy crawls under some rock, stops diddling little boys, makes an album or two, and gets lost in the afterthought of water cooler conversation. Even Bill O’Reilly is spending all his time with this nonsense. Ugh, what people will do for ratings.

Look, I understand that the news will focus on whatever sells advertising. And I know this country is filled with people who like to follow the lives of celebrities. I get that. Fine. Me, personally, I hope this thing doesn’t stick around like the stench of a rotting squirrel stuck in a storm drain. Let it end and let me stop hearing about it.

Posted by David at 05:22 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

I see London I see France, I see Saddam’s underpants.
I see Scotland I see Spain, I see a the media about to complain.

Someone took, and then obviously sold, pictures of Saddam Hussein in his underseats and other personal images. I am counting off on my fingers the number of seconds it is going to take the liberal lunatics out there to condemn George Bush for orchestrating this travesty.

Now I hear Al Jazeera, the Middle Eastern version of CNN, is refusing to broadcast the pictures because they are a violation of human rights. WHAT?!? HUH?!!? Are you (expletive deleted) KIDDING ME?? You run in a continuous loop the beheading of innocent captives by violent terrorists but you stand on this human rights box when it’s a picture of your lovely dictator sleeping in his feety PJs. You, Mr. Al Jazeera, are a freakin joke. Saying they are a violation of human rights is like Ted Kennedy condemning drinking. And while we’re on the topic, the beheadings are not done quickly and humanely like people think. It’s not a guillotine or really sharp samurai sword they use, it’s a group of thugs holding down some poor human being fighting to get loose while another soon-to-be living-in-hell terrorist saws his head off with a dull and rusty fish knife. It’s an awful and excruciatingly painful way to die and your network airs it like it belongs on Funniest Home Videos. And then you condemn the US for showing, and they weren’t even published here first, pictures of the old man in his underoos. If it was a video of Saddam’s beheading, would Al Jazeera broadcast them? Hmm. I wonder.

And a message to George Bush – STOP APOLOGIZING. Stop saying you are sorry for a stupid action of someone as far removed from your control as humanly possible. And especially don’t apologize for these pictures.

Posted by David at 04:58 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

The other day I had a flight and got to the airport in plenty of time. I boarded the plane for a 3:30 scheduled departure. About 10 minutes before we were scheduled to leave the pilot came on and said that an inspection of the plane found that it was hit by lightening and that while not uncommon, this particular hit made a bigger mark than usual. Delta procedure called for a methodical inspection which is a good thing, so he said that the wait would probably be about an hour. Since I had a book to read and they turned on the TVs on the plane, I sat back and relaxed. About 30 minutes later he came on and said they were going to cancel the flight and we all had to get off.

At this point in my story most of the 3 faithful readers of my blog would expect a cynical tale of terrible customer service and horrid examples of why Delta is the devil. But not this time.

I was with a colleague and as we both got off with the 200+ other passengers we heard a gate agent come over the PA in the terminal and told all of us to see a gate agent (at this point about 50 people deep for one person) or to go to a section with a bank of phones and call reservations (about 100 people deep). Always trying to find a shortcut, I just called Delta directly from a pay phone. The phone person said that myself and my colleague were already rebooked on the 7PM flight and that we were all set. Nice. Taking care of us. Good.

We had to kill a couple of hours and the place was a zoo. Not wanting to sit in the terminal and try to find some place to plug our laptops into, I decided to try the Delta Crown Room. I do not have a pass (costs a few hundred dollars) and was not with someone who is a member (then I get in for free). But I thought I would try. After all, I was well dressed and only wanted the quiet work space, not to drink and cause trouble, like I usually do. So we waited in line and when it was our turn to talk to the receptionist person in the Crown Room I walked up and in a very quiet voice said “Our flight was cancelled and we have to kill a couple of hours, do you mind if we work in here for a while?�. The women, also in a quiet tone, said “No problem, go on in, just don’t tell anybody.� Bless this Delta rep for breaking the rules to make me, a very difficult person to please, happy.

So we worked in there, went to the Summer Shack restaurant for dinner and got ignored for a while and finally left, then got on our flight. The Summer Shack story is almost too insignificant to tell. Short version – we sat down and were ignored for about 7 or 10 minutes. While being ignored, another person sat down next to us, a waitress came by, took his drink order, and brought it to him, and we had not even seen a person yet. I got up to ask the hostess to send someone over to us, she turned and said something to another waitress who asked ME what section I was in, like I would somehow know, then I went back to the table to continue being ignored for another 5 or so minutes. At that point we just gave up and left. Who cares, there are 10 other places to get something to eat.

Anyway, while in the Crown Room another Delta person moved our seats on the next flight to good seats in the exit row and gave us meal vouchers. Another example of doing more than was expected and left me feeling good.

We got on our flight, had an uneventful time, then made it to the hotel in Orlando.

Posted by David at 05:56 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Now that Mother’s Day is behind us, I started thinking about other holidays we celebrate, and I use that term very loosely. Here is my take on some of the more well known, and less known, events. I left off the non-Christian holidays, like Yom Kippur, since I am not Jewish.

New Years Day – Celebrate another day on the calendar, remind people about the pain of getting older, sleep off a hangover.

Martin Luther King Day – The most influential black rights activist in history, he deserves this day. Jesse Jackson is a joke compared to him. Government jobs have off, I do not.

Groundhog Day – About as stupid of a day as I can think of. Means nothing to me. Stupid rat doesn’t see his shadow and we get more winter?? Wh…huh…what crack addict thought of this tradition? Drunk polka dancing looks like fun though. Plus great Bill Murray movie.

Presidents Day – Wonderful idea here. Set aside a day to remember our earlier presidents because people somehow forget that most of them were adulterating wealthy drunks who owned slaves.

Valentines Day – Holiday made up by Hallmark to boost lagging sales, puts undo pressure on men who want to keep their sex lives active.

Saint Patrick’s Day – Suddenly everyone claims to be Irish so they can get stinking drunk at 9 in the morning and act like fools, or in Boston, a typical Thursday.

Easter - The most important Christian holiday there is, let’s eat ham. Give kids chocolate first thing in the morning because a mystical rabbit came by the night before? Where is the connection?

Arbor Day – No idea at all how this came about. If we are going to have a day to remember to plant a tree, how about one to remember to wipe you’re a**. Sorry, trees are good, just kind of curious about the history on this one.

Mothers Day – Ridiculous event created by Hallmark, I hate them (Hallmark, not mothers), to make their quarterly numbers. Puts pressure on people like me to do something for the moms and spend a ton of money. Most mother’s do what most men could never do, so setting aside one day to honor them seems insulting.

Birthdays - We celebrate an actual day that someone was born, fine, I get this. Kind of crazy that the first few birthdays are huge events that the kids will never remember, where we gloss over most adult birthdays.

Fathers Day – Dumber than Mother’s Day. How about this, on Father’s day they should track down all deadbeat dads and men who leave their wife and kids without any support, and beat them unconscious.

Memorial Day - Remember the brave men and women who risked and gave their lives for our freedom, day off from work. Start of the summer, sort of. Usually cold in the morning and evening, lukewarm during the day. Try swimming at Jones Beach on Memorial Day. Headlights and shrinkage, welcome to Field 4.

July 4th - Birth of our nation, get drunk and sun burned. And oh yeah, after getting tanked on cheap canned beer, light off bombs with kids running around. I just wish this was like Memorial or Labor Day and always on a Monday. I hate when it falls on a Wednesday. It does cut the week up though.

Labor Day – Do unemployed get to do anything? Trailing bookend to the summer. Depressing because most people have a slow and steady decline to look forward to ending in an ice and snow induced shut in. Parents of kids celebrate getting their routine back.

Columbus Day – Celebrate someone’s inability to sail. On October 12 a new era of European expansion and exploration began. Wonder if the folks in the Bahamas think it’s so great.

Halloween – Give otherwise normal kids a chance to beg for candy. Give older kids a reason to attack people with eggs and shaving cream. Give adults a chance to buy huge bags of candy and eat 90% of it themselves.

Veterans Day – War, anyway you slice it, is horrific. Necessary, but horrific. A 92 year old bronze star winner I met recently said “World War 2 was awful, I still have medical problems from it. Living in a fox hole for days at a time like animals.� These guys deserve more respect than anyone can give them.

Thanksgiving - We honor the moment we doomed the native Indians. Lovely.

Day After Thanksgiving – Since someone came up with the bright idea of a Thursday holiday, let’s just forget the entire work thing and give them off on Friday too, brilliant.

Christmas - The birth of the most famous and influential person in history, and as Christians believe, the savior of our souls. Children believe a gigantic fair skinned geriatric in a bright red costume, with a long beard, magically brings gifts to them in the middle of the night by illegally entering their homes through the chimney. If someone suggested this in today’s society, he would be fitted with an ankle bracelet and told to stay away from schools.

New Years Eve – Normally civilized people feel the need to get drunk and celebrate, way too crowded and obnoxious day around the globe. I wonder how many people do things they regret on this night, not that I would know. For parents of little children, staying awake to see the ball drop is far less important than getting some sleep. TiVo will record the event if something fun happens.

Posted by David at 04:52 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

When I drive to and from work, my mind often wanders. I like to think of it as day dreaming but it’s probably ADD. Either way, I pass my time by listening to talk radio and talking to myself. Sometimes I talk on the phone but for the most part hate talking on a cell phone, especially in the car, and would rather wait until I am in front of a land line. When anyone drives in traffic, there are a few different behaviors that I always find interesting. I often wonder what the person is like who drives a certain way. I tried to categorize some of the things people do and took a guess at what they are like in person.

1 – Laggers. I hate this behavior. Hate it. When I am in the car it is usually in heavy traffic. Vehicles move anywhere from a stand still to 30 miles an hour. A lagger is someone who always keeps at least a 3 or 4 car-length distance between themselves and the car in front of them. 99% of drivers in traffic, because it’s moving so slow, are pretty close to the car in front of them, let’s guess it at one to ½ a car length. The lagger is someone who almost never gets anywhere near that close. When traffic is moving and there is this huge gap, the lagger will slam on their brakes when they see the brake light go on from the car in front of them, even though they have a huge amount of cushion. This drives me nuts. I sit behind this type of driver and watch car after car after car get in front of this person while our lane continues to make less progress as other lanes. It drives me nuts.

I can picture the type of person. Walks slow in the mall or at an airport so others have a hard time getting by them. Window shops and often looks like they are trying to peer out from under their glasses at something that is eye level. Takes their time in line at a store, doesn’t get their cash or credit card out until the cashier tells them the total. Hugely risk adverse. Waits for the crosswalk to tell them when to go. Life is a little boring and slow. No rush to get anywhere because probably not much waiting for them. Low to mid level local government job in accounting or book keeping.

2 – No turn signal. This is a fairly common driver, especially in Massachusetts. In fact...

2 – No turn signal. This is a fairly common driver, especially in Massachusetts. In fact, drivers ed in this state never touches on these silly sticks coming out of the steering column called “turn signals�. This driver cuts from lane to lane, gets into the off or onramp, makes right turns at intersections, and the turn arrow is never a thought. Most of the time this doesn’t bother me except when it impedes on what I am doing. If I am driving along at whatever speed I want and someone in front of me moves lanes without a turn signal, who cares, no harm done to me. But when I am waiting to make a right hand turn and there is a car coming from the left, and I wait and wait and the car slows down and makes the right onto the street I am on, I get annoyed. I could have gone if I knew they were turning.

This person is easier to peg than most. Arrogant, self-important condescending jerk. This is the type of person who walks right up to the security checkpoint even though there is a huge line and sneaks his way into the line. This person enters a coffee shop that doesn’t have a good queue system and goes right to the next available order-taker. This person smokes cigars on a busy sidewalk, this person sneezes really really loud without covering their nose, this person is an all around a-hole. After all, if they have no consideration to tell other drivers what they are doing, why would their non-driving life be any different? I was at a really charged NBA playoff game once and their was this guy in one of the first rows behind the bench. Every time the home team did something good, the crowd would go wild and this guy would turn around, face the crowd, and lift his arms into a giant ‘Y’ like he was the pope blessing the crowd. In his mind he was imploring the crowd to cheer and we were all abiding by his command. THAT guy doesn’t use his turn signal. This type of driver complains to a bartender that their isn’t enough scotch in his drink, yells at a waitress for getting one minor thing wrong with is order, and makes a lot of noise in a movie theater. I hate this type of person more than anyone else because this person is often a bully. I hate bullies.

3 – Dead stop lane change.

This one is usually because of poor driving habits and lack of experience or confidence, or both. Let me describe the situation. I am in medium traffic and all three lanes are going between 5 and 30 miles an hour. I am in the far left lane. Traffic in all lanes starts to slow down to about 5 miles an hour. The car in front of me puts on their turn signal and stops to get into the middle lane, which is fine because all traffic has pretty much stopped. Traffic in my lanes starts to move faster than the other two. MOST drivers would forget getting over and keep the flow of traffic moving. The dead stop lane changer stays where they are. The middle lane has not moved yet so they cannot get over, but our lane is moving fine. So I sit there, behind this person who is trying to get over, while the middle lane does not move and the car in front of the dead stop car gets farther and farther away. To make it worse, cars from the middle lane start getting over into the my lane because they see that 1) it is moving and 2) there is this huge and expanding gap.

This person is hard to define. At times I think it is someone who is new to driving but not young. Young drivers are aggressive and will keep up with the fast lane. This driver might be from another country where driving in cars is not something they grew up doing. This type of behavior is indicative of someone who is not used to the customs of driving. This could also be an older or timid driver who is nervous about not finding an opportunity to change lanes during heavy traffic and for some reason has gotten the approval from someone while traffic was at a stand still and doesn’t want to lose their chance. There is also a valid reason for this, such as an off ramp coming up that the person has to use. This doesn’t bother me as much because I have learned to be much more forgiving in traffic because it’s not a race and who cares if I get stuck an extra minute or two.

4 – Lookers.

This is often done on a road with a lot of lights. It is when a driver comes to a stand still and looks to the left and right to see who is in the cars around him. What I find interesting is when someone on the highway does this. When it is done on a road with lights it’s usually some young guy or group of young guys looking for chicks or someone to start a fight with. But during rush hour, on the highway, drivers are usually going to and from work, with no other objective than that. They are usually not trying to find a date or anything. So this baffles me a little.

The type of driver is exactly how I describe. Young, usually male, not real attractive or much to offer otherwise they wouldn’t be looking to meet girls while in separate cars. It’s usually in some piece of crap old beat up muscle car that is past its point of impressing people.

Car pool.

There is something else I find interesting. There has never been any kind of effort to get people to car pool. Nothing significant at least. When you look at rush hour traffic at the macro level, it’s about people from outlying communities funneling into a few roads to get to a city. Simple. And there has to be a lot of people from each community who travel to work at roughly the same time. But when you look at almost all the cars on the road in the morning and afternoon, there is almost always one person. And they are not these tiny cars either, it’s a lot of wasted space in SUVs and trucks and mini vans and sedans. I am guilty since I have a large pick-up truck. But it amazes me that there has never been a culture of leaving three cars in the community and maximizing the space inside one car, thus reducing the amount of cars on the road. I assume the problem is that people like the freedom of their own car, just like I do, and that a lot of people like being alone in the car, like I do. With other people you have to share the radio, reduce the amount of time you talk on the phone, and make small talk. Three things that would deter me from car pooling.

Anyway, spending time in traffic is not so bad. For the most part I leave enough time so I am not in a huge rush, I enjoy the solitude, and I learn to be patient with bad people because there is absolutely nothing good that will come of being upset and yelling and beeping your horn. And I spend time thinking about stupid stuff like this, which I write about later in the day.

Posted by David at 04:51 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

This stupid, freakin, moronic story is on every news channel I watch. It is painful. It’s like watching someone mess up an already bad joke. I hate this story, hate Michael Jackson, and hate that it is taking away from other stories that might be important. It’s killing me that this sick pedophile, and let’s call it straight, he is guilty, because if it was one kid who accused him than I would give him the benefit of the doubt, but its one kid after another for a long period of time. So this sick pedophile shows up in his outfits that make most gay men cringe, and his trial gets more airtime than other trivial events like the economy, social security, security threats or the EFFING WAR IN IRAQ. Even the lunch menu for Sunken Meadow Junior High would be more interesting.

Sorry. I couldn’t care less about most celebrity news, including weddings, who is dating who, who broke up with who, who is in rehab and above all who is making a joke of our legal system and will get away with a terrible crime.

Posted by David at 04:50 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Hey, Curt Schilling, shut your big fat mouth. Enough of your crap. I used to like you, especially after you came out and supported Bush, but now you are getting on my nerves. First, stop offering your opinion on everything. Second, don’t call Lou Piniella an “idiot�. You go on radio and TV shows and start mouthing off like some drunk uneducated sports fan in a Somerville bar who thinks they know something about everything. Uh oh, I just described myself. But you get on your soap box and start bashing a manager who, by the way, also was a pretty good player. You were out of line in calling him an idiot and attacking his integrity and you know it. Actually, maybe not, considering you think everyone else on this planet is stupid and knows less than you. I am sick of hearing your horse, condescending voice yap about this and that. You are a great pitcher but no one appointed you the voice and supreme opinion of EVERYTHING. Shut IT.

And that’s another thing. If I see your wife on TV one more time I am going to glue my eyes shut. She is on more than most Red Sox players. She is attractive for an older lady and I appreciate the charity work, but tell her to give it a rest. The stupid bobble ankle toy is ridiculous. It looks dumb. If she wants to raise money for charity, tell her to sell one of the Ford F150s you got doing your low budget commercials, which, by the way, SUCK.

One other thing. The Red Sox throw at players all the time. Opening series they hit 5, FIVE, Yankee players. Pedro, a guy who said was your buddy last year, threw at Matsui’s head last year because he was hitting him well. The year before Pedro threw at Garcia in the playoffs, threw at his head, because he was getting hit like a piñata. Your team plunks opposing players all the time, starts fights, then complains when it is done to them. Give me a freakin’ break. It’s a case of the bully getting bullied. If I stand in front of my house and throw rocks at people who walk by, I sure in hell would not start crying when someone decides to throw rocks back. Your team, Curt, is a bunch of whining cry babies because someone, an old school manager that is an “idiot�, decided to give you some of your own medicine. I just wished Torre drank Heineken for breakfast like Piniella so maybe the Yanks would start giving you just a little of the medicine you so readily dispense to other teams.

Posted by David at 10:47 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

One thing that really bugs me are people who stand really close to me while waiting in line. Or worse, stand next to me. Example. While I was at the airport today, I was waiting in line to go through the security gauntlet, normally a completely inefficient process, but a necessary one. I just got into line when a man came up behind me and go so close that if he had a straw sticking out of his mouth he would have poked me in the back of the head. The line was after the security people check your ID but before the scanners and this yahoo was getting so close to me that I almost felt sexually harassed. I’ve seen love scenes with less contact. I looked back at him briefly to send him a “I hate you, back away� message through my menacing stare but I guess he didn’t get the message. Now, I would normally tell the guy to go ahead of me so I didn’t have to stand in line feeling uncomfortable, like this time Patti and I were waiting for some ride at Disney and this family of non-English speaking idiots were up our assess so much that we just let them go ahead to bug the next person in line. But I though to myself “Eff this moron, I am going to make him wait�.

The thing that was crazy was that as soon as we emerged from the narrow roped off corral, he cut in front of about 12 people to put his keys, wallet and watch on the conveyer belt and went through the metal detector. I wish that device had a button to press that would send a huge jolt of electricity through a person, just for a case like this.

Anyway, later I was standing in line at the gate to change my seat when another yahoo walked up behind me and instead of getting close behind me, he got close next to me. I never really understand this approach. I am in line, clearly in line, for about 5 minutes. There is only one line. He walks up and does he think that by standing next to me, he is somehow going to lull me into thinking he was in front of me. I just spent the last 5 minutes looking at the bald head of some fat guy in front of me, so I clearly know where I am in the order of things. So then the guy bumped into me. I am NOT JOKING. He was so close and huffing and puffing and looking around like he runs the freakin world, in his Run For The Night cheap give-away t-shirt and faded jeans and scuffed walking shoes, that he freakin bumped me. I gave him another deliberate disapproving glare that doesn’t seem to penetrate moron minds and purposely moved away from him, sending the message that while I staked the territory first and he entered it, I was willing to move a couple of feet to get away from his ugly ass.

So, the moral of this story is that unless you are a stunning tall blond with nice perfume, don’t stand so close to me. And even if you are a stunning blond, no matter how much you ride my tail, you are not getting in front of me. End of story.

Posted by David at 11:40 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

I was standing in line at the Dunkin Donuts I go to when at work, in the Cambridge Galleria Mall, waiting to order my medium hazelnut light with three sugars. I usually drink tea at work but on the rare occasion I treat myself to a cup of DD coffee, it?s usually the high point of my time at work, a sad realization. Anyway, I was standing in line, tired, grouchy, annoyed, a little melancholy, looking around at the 10 or 12 people in each line, when I looked up at the top of the metal coffee maker behind the counter and saw a cockroach hanging out. It wasn?t a quick run across the top, ducking cover and looking for a place to hide. It was a leisurely stroll as if he were enjoying a warm spring morning.

While I am not a huge fan of creepy kind of bugs, because there is a difference, lady bugs are cute and I would pick one up without thinking, I also don?t scream like a little girl. At least not when I see a bug that is NOT crawling on my arm because bugs crawling on me negate any male rule of screaming. So I stood there and stared at the cockroach, or as the Spanish like to say, la cucaracha. I was not repulsed, I didn?t immediately leave the line, I didn?t even think to ask for a free cup of coffee or tell the woman standing next to me. I just looked at it, and for a brief second thought I was going to pass out. Not sure if it was because I was tired, or it was really early, or I just walked in from the cold, but I thought I was going down like Pat O?Brien after an all night bender.

I got my coffee, paid in quarters, waved goodbye to the cockroach, and walked back to work.

Posted by David at 10:42 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

I am on hold with SMC Networks, a company that makes computer equipment like routers for the home or office, wireless cards and switches. I have had an SMC wireless broadband router for about 3 years and it has never worked right. The one good thing about SMC is that they have a pretty good customer service policy and I can call their technical 1-800 number at all hours, which is good because I am usually having trouble after installing a new computer or printer at midnight when the stupid thing doesn?t work right. Plus their products have a lifetime warranty which I am in the middle of redeeming right now. My router stopped working when we came back from Minnesota on March 9th. I called and after spending a ridiculous amount of time on the phone with technical support-India, they determined that it was indeed broken. So they made me call back their US-based customer service with some special number to have a replacement shipped out. I chose option ?B? which was to give them my credit card number and they would ship a new one that day. This way I didn?t have to ship them my old one, wait until they received and processed it, and then wait until they shipped out a replacement, which, by the way, is not a direct replacement so I have to deal with learning how to set up and troubleshoot a new router because trust me, I am confident this one will not work well either. The option I went with was to have them ship me the unit and I had 30 days to ship my old one back or they would charge my credit card some crazy amount for this useless piece of crap. Well, I waited and waited and waited and this weekend realized it has not come and it?s coming up on three weeks. So I called this morning and this company only has customer support on Pacific time which didn?t help me so I called back at noon and had to wait and wait. When a human finally talked to me they said something about a FedEx tracking number and this person?s quick scan at FedEx.com showed the device was sitting at a FedEx facility in western mass due to an address screw up and then they put me on hold to find out from FedEx what the story was and as soon as they put me on hold they hung up on me, Alex you call-center bastard I know you did it on purpose why did you hang up on me all I want is my effing router so I can use more than one computer at a freakin TIME and I don?t have to keep my laptops tethered. So I waited thinking he would call me back because they have my number I have called so many times I know they recognize me by this number but he never called back. So I called them back and waited and waited and finally someone answered and guess who it was, yep, Alex. I didn?t know for sure if it was him so I started to explain that I was on hold and I said politely that we got disconnected, indicating no one was at fault, and he kind of half laughed and said that was him I was talking to and he said sorry for disconnecting me it was his fault. Good, he fessed up to it. So he said he has to do some more research to find out and I said good, call me back because the thing was sitting in a college town two hours away and I am not going to drive there to pick it up and he said he will look into that option and I said wait no I said I am NOT going to drive there and he said ok and I said so you will call me back and he said huh, so I repeated and I could tell he was not listening to me so I said call me back please and hung up and I wonder what will happen next.

Posted by David at 11:47 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Northwest Airlines, you are my new enemy. Delta is like a fairy godmother compared to how I feel about you. NWA stands not for Northwest Airlines but for ?Not My Problem.?

Here is why.

On Tuesday, March 8, myself, my wife, my 7 month old son and my 2, soon to be 3, year old daughter were scheduled to fly from Minneapolis to Boston at 1:30 PM after spending a week on vacation visiting my wife?s family and attending a cousin?s wedding. We drove 3 hours from where we were staying to get to the airport 2 hours before our flight. Earlier that morning I checked the weather in Boston and there was a winter weather advisory for 6PM, about 45 minutes before we were supposed to land. Ruh-roh. Could be trouble.

As we boarded the plane, we heard that the 3:30 flight to Boston was cancelled so they were trying to put some of those passengers on the 1:30. No problem. Let?s get everyone home as quickly as we can. We got on the plane, got the kids situated, got Emily all set with her juice and something to eat, and waited. About 10 minutes before departure, the captain came on and said that the gate agent was going to board the plane with an announcement. The pilot said he thought they were going to cancel the flight due to air traffic control issues with weather in the northeast. Sure enough, the lady came on and said the flight was cancelled and we should see a ticket agent to rebook. So we got all of our crap together and got off the plane.

Little side note. We gate-checked a stroller which means...

Continue reading "Northwest Airlines" »

Posted by David at 12:55 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

If I ruled the world, I would have the following law:

?If outdoor holiday decorations were up on January 25 without a valid reason, it would be a fineable offense. If those decorations included lights, and the lights were actually on during the evening, the fine would double. Maybe triple?.

Personally, I take down all outdoor decorations one week after Christmas. It?s my New Year Day task. Take the roping, bows, wreath and all lights down. One week. That?s it. Christmas is over until next December. I can understand maybe two weeks. But no more. Enough. It?s over. Give it up. And if you are leaving them up because you are lazy, then shame on you. Take the things down and let the rest of us get on with our lives. By the third week of January my holiday season seems as far away as my 32 inch waistline and I want the decorations to come down. We put them up a month before Christmas because it?s like going on a date to get to the rumpa-rumpa, there?s expectation building and we like to build things up as long as possible ? remember the phrase ?Getting there is half the fun?. But like a lot of things, when the holidays are over, I, and others, need to move on. No use lingering. If it?s a valid reason like a family emergency, you had to travel unexpectedly or you got sick, then fine, you have more time. But if not, then cut the rope.

So to all those people who leave the decorations up for weeks and weeks after the holidays, and to only those who do it out of laziness, take them down please. It annoys me. And for the love of God do NOT turn the lights on at night.

Posted by David at 09:56 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Not sure if I ever posted this exchange with US Air.

I got so fed up the other day trying to take care of something over the phone with US Air that the following exchange took place (after about 15 minutes of haggling).

Me: Look, I understand your policies, but I also know they can be bent with manager approval. Why don?t you get your manager on the horn and let?s see if we can get my refund processed.

Airline: Sir, I am not going to ask my manager to do something I know is against the rules.

Me: Just ask. Please. For me. Ask.

Airline: Sorry but can?t do it.

Me: I am about to start a project and can use US Air or American, every week, for the next 2 years This might sway my choice.

Airline: Can?t do it.

Me: Just do it please. Just ask. Can?t hurt to ask.

Airline: Sir, you are not even silver status. If you were gold or platinum, I might consider it, but?

Me: Gold!!??!! Platinum!!??!! I?m kryptonite mother fu?.

Airline: [click].

Posted by David at 10:58 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Starbucks is wildly successful. Good for them. They have taken the corner store, mom and pop coffee house concept and made a ton of money with it. They put some people out of business, but that is what a free market is all about. Starbucks offers a large selection of coffee and beverages, some snacks, a few trinkets, and does it in a cool way. It appeals to a wealthier crowd then some of their competitors. But for me, I hate Starbucks. Take the quality of their coffee out of the equation because I am sure it is technically very good coffee. Here is why I hate them.

1 ? You have to speak and read Latin to order coffee. I hate it. It?s pretentious.
2 ? There is a waiting room for getting your coffee. I think the other day I saw someone starve to death while waiting for their order.
3 ? It costs over 4 dollars for a cup of coffee with some cream. Way to expensive. Unless it contains a shot of Stoli, not sure why it costs so much.

Good for them. I read that the average customer visits 18 times a month. Spending 4 bucks on a cup of coffee. No offense to Orin Smith, but I'll stick to Dunkin Donuts.

Thought I?d share.

Posted by David at 11:01 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Delta, you did it again

Hey Delta, you are like a great airline that I really love, only opposite. This past Sunday you did it again. If there is one goal I am going to accomplish in 2005, it is to take my 75K miles a year of expensive tickets and use it on another airline. Any other airline.

I was in Atlanta this weekend with my 2 year old daughter visiting my parents. On Sunday morning I was checking in around 9:30. I had one bag and the booster seat. The bag was kind of heavy and when I weighed it at my parents house I knew it would be very close to the 50 pound limit for bags. So this is how the check in process went.

- I walked up and received a very cold welcome from the lady behind the counter. No big deal. She deals with passengers all the time so she is probably pretty miserable.

- I had checked in at the kiosk so all I had to do was give her my two pieces of check-in stuff, a black pull bag and Emily?s car seat. My parents were keeping Emily occupied elsewhere so she was not with me.

- The ticket agent then asked to see Emily. Not sure why, but she did. So I had to signal for my parents to bring her over. As they were walking up, the agent was taking her booster seat and putting in on the conveyer belt, which made my daughter upset and she started to cry.

- I then put the bigger bag on the pass-through and the lady looked down at the scale. It was 53 pounds. 3 pounds over the limit.

- The woman looked at me and said ?It is over the limit, you will need to reduce the weight by 3 pounds?. Now, I cannot argue with her. Well, I can, but decided not to, because according to the rules, it was the over the limit. So there I was, crying daughter in my arms, my parents standing there, busy airport, looking at her like ?You have got to be joking??? Well, she was not joking.

- Having the foresight that Delta is evil and they would get me even if it was 1 ounce over, I asked to borrow a small bag from my parents and brought it in with me to the airport. I then gave my daughter back to my mother, opened up the big bag, took a pair of sneakers out, and put them into the other bag. That brought the weight back down to 50 pounds.

- So I checked one additional bag. To make a point, the ticket agent increased the amount of bags that someone at Delta has to handle. They do not care that I am gold medallion, and could just give me a break. No. They do not think about that because I was 3 pounds over the limit. When I flew on United and American this past year with my wife and daughter, I had bags that were over. The person checking me in let it slide because it was not over by a lot, it was in a bag that is easy to handle, and I had a family and the airline actually appreciated me for flying them and their motto is not ?Who needs damn customers?.

Delta, you are a joke. I know you will say things like ?we strive to reach the highest level of customer satisfaction possible? and ?our agents are trained to abide by strict rules governing bag weight limits? and ?we do not care about you because you will fly us no matter what so shut it or we will make it worse?. I wish there were other choices on the east coast that I could use. There are, but they are less convenient than you. But like I said, my goal in 2005 is to give my money to someone else. Goodbye. Again.

Posted by David at 10:16 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

If you?ve read anything on this site, you know I try to stay positive and inspirational. Only good comments here, not bad. But I have to say something about Mass-holes, a word used to describe a large percentage of drivers in Massachusetts.

I stopped my weekly travel in August. That is a good thing, but now I drive to work every day, 10 miles in the morning, and 10 miles in the evening, right through the city. I live just south of Boston and work in Cambridge, just north of Boston. I actually like driving (instead of taking the subway) because it gives me time to listen to the radio and the flexibility/freedom to leave whenever I want. Plus I listen to talk radio, which is hard in the subway.

But there is one thing that bugs the living crap out of me and makes me think about taking public transportation. Years ago when I was taking a defensive driving course to get 10% off my insurance I was told to leave a safe distance from the car in front of me on the highway. The general rule of thumb was for every 10 miles an hours add 1 second of time that passes when the car in front of you goes by a fixed object and you go by the same fixed object. So if I am going 60 miles an hour, as soon as the car in front of me passes, let?s say a sign post, I should count to 6 and that is when I should pass the same fixed object. In reality, that would leave an unrealistic amount of space, so I usually just guess at a safe distance. But it?s a pretty good rule.

In Massachusetts, abiding by this rule is seen as a sign of weakness on the roads. If I leave anything more than a few inches, and my lane is moving faster than the other lanes, cars will instantly cut in front of me. It?s almost like some crazy highway video game where the winner is able to cut and weave and finish the race first.

So every morning, and evening, as I move along 93, also known as the Central Artery, or the Southeast Expressway, depending on where you are, I have to drive right up the a** of the car in front of me. The second, and I am not exaggerating, the millisecond, I leave anything close to a car length, some moron quickly cuts in front of me.

At times I realize a legit driver has to move over to get off an exit ramp or something, but you can tell who they are. They use turn signals. Massholes do not use turn signals. In fact, when you buy a car in Massachusetts, turn signals are an expensive option that is rarely purchased.

Nothing I can do about it, except inch along close to the car in front of my like everyone else. Oh sure, you Defense Driving course instructors are telling me to keep leaving space, but then cars will keep cutting in front of me, resulting in the need for me to actually stop my car and wait until 3 in the morning when the roads are empty. Not a realistic option.

One other quick thing. During traffic, if I have to get over, I use my turn signal and wait for an opening. Another core trait of Massachusetts drivers is the unwillingness to let another driver in front of them. At least once a day, I put my turn signal on, wait for an opening, and then start to move over. This is usually done when traffic is moving very slowly. The second, again, not exaggerating, the second I start to move over, the car in the lane slams on the accelerator, and makes DAMN sure that I cannot get in front of them. You see, to the other driver, I am a threat, someone who will cause them to lose this freakin game, and I CANNOT be allowed to move in front of them in traffic. Oh sure, sometimes I?ll get someone nice enough to just let me move over in traffic, but they have out of state license plates.

Whey can?t everyone be like me. At least on the roads.

Just thought I?d vent.

Posted by David at 09:19 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

On websites that make users choose a country, and provide a drop down list of countries, I think they should always put the US first, even though alphabetically it should be near the bottom. I know it sounds elitist but chances are site visitors will not be from Albania or Andorra.

Just my opinion.

Posted by David at 01:05 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Dear Delta,

I used to write such nice things about you. I would talk you up like you were the super hero of airlines. Like you were something special. A friend. But now I hate you. I hate hate hate you. I used to love you, but you have fallen out of favor and now I hate you. And the reason is your entire fault. It was not me this time. It was not something I did, but something YOU did. It is all because if a little thing you decided to enter into our lives call ?Zone Boarding?.

What the f*** were you thinking when you started Zone Boarding. I think you should take the dips**t who thought up this gem and beat the living crap out of him. Just so we are not miscommunicating, let me make sure we are in agreement on Zone Boarding.

I, as a frequent business traveler, purchase very expensive tickets on Delta. Recently, it has been very expensive tickets on your ?low cost? airline, Song. Song, which is an acronym for ?sorry, only DAVE DOBRINDT has to wait to board?. I have been purchasing tickets to Orlando, Florida, a direct flight from Boston which takes 3 miserable hours. I have a client in Orlando and buy the ticket, probably three times as much as the person sitting next to me who is going to Magic Kingdom with his family and flies Delta once every 5 years when he goes to Disney, and twice as much as the slob next to me going to Orlando to visit his parents and play golf. I buy the effing ticket three days before I fly because everything in my work is last minute and I pay out of the nose because of it. I am a Sliver medallion and fast approaching Gold. Not a big deal for those who ARE Gold or Platinum, but much higher up than the Disney guy. And what do I get for this loyalty because, and believe me, it IS loyalty. I can fly any airline I choose. In fact, Delta isn?t even a PREFERRED airline for my company but I choose to ANYWAY. How stupid am I.

So there I am, ticket in hand, silver medallion tattooed on my forehead, all dressed up, laptop, one small black pull bag with the absolutely minimum of what I need, headphones to drown out the idiots next to me, gearing up to sit in my aisle seat and work because unfortunately that is far better than anything else I can do on a plane that will pass the time. And WHAT do I receive as a thank you from Delta. I am put into a ZONE that lets me, lucky me, board the very, very last on the plane. I am not f****** joking. There are six Zones. I am Zone six. I like aisle seats so I can do work, and I guess if you are in an aisle seat, Silver medallion and named David Dobrindt, you board last. Great idea! Reward the business travelers by not letting them get on early with their preferred status. If there is anything I hate about airline travel, even more than the idea of crashing, is boarding late. I have two bags. TWO. One briefcase, and one travel bag. I HATE getting on last, especially when I get to the gate early, and not able to put my bag directly above my seat. I HATE it. Do you hear me, HATE it. Getting on last is the ONLY thing that gives me anxiety about traveling because EVERYONE is looking at you while you struggle to find some spot to put your bag. You would think that Delta would try to keep the business travelers happy. Well, Delta, let me tell you something. I am not happy? Wait, there is one more thing I forget. What kind of food do I get with my $400 dollar ticket?? Huh?? I am given the option to purchase a $3 snickers bar. I do not even get a f****** BAG OF PRETZELS. Oh, sure, I get a cup of soda. But they hand out menus like I just sat down for my anniversary dinner and wheel an apple cart around filled with shit to buy. I CAN?T EVEN GET FREE PRETZELS.

So let me recap. I buy a seat that is three times as much as Delta, oh, excuse me, SONG, advertises on TV. I get to board as the plane is taxing down the runway, and then get s**t for food. Delta, I hate you. I used to love you, but hate you. I really do. Please stop this and get down on your hand and knees and beg me to come back. Because I got my two flights for a free round trip anywhere in the country and am going to try some other disaster for a while.

Goodbye.

Posted by David at 11:37 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)