Dobrindts dot com...again

Nicolas Negreponte, famed founder of the MIT Media Lab and author of Being Digital, millionaire many times over, recently sketched out a design for a PC that Third World governments could buy in bulk for $100 apiece and distribute to children in a bid to boost their educations, according to an article by technology writer Hiawatha Bray in the Boston Globe yesterday.

Negroponte and his wife started two schools in Cambodia in 1999 and were able to get laptops for all the kids, and he wants millions of other poor kids to have laptops.

Some of the more interesting points from the article. And my restrained response.

"You don't have to be dirt poor to desire a dirt-cheap computer." No, you have to be a poverty stricken kid who has a half a bowl of rice once a week. Dirt-poor is an upgrade for most of the world' worst people. How about getting them food. Or something to treat their dysentery, malaria or AIDs.

"But for the world' poorest countries, laptops may someday cost just $100."Great, these countries can spend money on laptops and ignore waste management systems, security, healthcare and other indulgences like FOOD and MEDICINE. Or roads.

"Any problem you name, from birth control to basic health to poverty elimination to world peace, is best addressed through education."I totally agree, but how are we introducing computers when there are no classrooms, or government, for that matter. These aren't the projects of Cambridge or Cambodian college professor' kids we' re talking about. These are the 15 year old kids who weigh 30 pounds and are lucky to be alive each day.

While talking about the cheap laptops, "It's a noble goal, and an exciting one even for American tech buffs." Has anyone asked those in this world who have given their lives to make the third world and developing countries a better place? Ask the Peace Corp if they think boxes of laptops are a good idea. Not sure but I would guess they would ask for clothes, medicine and something to eat.

"Lots of tasks need just a little computing power; those are the jobs well suited to Negroponte's dream machine." I agree. Tasks like providing nourishment to starving babies requires almost no computing power. And how much computing power does the task of stopping ethnic cleansing need? Hmm? Wanna answer that one?

"For one thing, it would be light. There would be no disk drives to speak of - hard, CR-ROM, or floppy." Huh?? Disk drives? Floppy? The people in third world countries DO NOT GIVE A SHIT about USB ports and track points. My Lord, do you think that if you walked up to some 12 year old wearing a faded Nike shirt holding a machine gun guarding the local diamond mine he would say that he is excited about a laptop that wasn't too heavy?

"Instead, the supercheap laptop would boast a gigabyte of main memory and use flash memory to store essential software." Cool, a gigabyte of main memory while the laptop is used to treat smallpox.

"To add software or remove files, users would plug in a key chain flash memory drive or an external hard drive." Let's get those starving kids a thumb drive that is in the shape of candy bar. I have seen them on ebay and can get one for 10 bucks plus 7 for shipping and handling. Or sushi-shaped thumb drives are really popular in Japan, I have been meaning to get one. Let's order some with 32 meg capacity, a few with 64 meg and some with 128 meg for our star performers.

"The planned $100 laptop would include WiFI wireless networking. Even more impressive is Negroponte's plan to include mesh networking capability." So let me get this straight. While a starving mother of 5 struggles to provide clean water for her kids, she can access a wireless network to do what? Find out what the temperature outside her hut is? And even I don't need mesh networking capability. Something tells me you can leave off that little add-on and maybe provide an energy bar instead.

"Imagine a small town in Peru with one of these laptops in every home. They'd automatically talk to each other, instantly creating a municipal communications network for instant messages, e-mails, maybe even voice traffic." I can see the instant messages now. They would go something like this.

4evahhungry: Hi! Gr8t to see u online. Any idea when the UN peacekeepers are suppose to arrive?

2skinny2think: Hey girlfriend! Not sure. But I could use some more oatmeal paste, it's been almost 2 months since I ate.

H8myhair: 2 months? Lucky u. Stupid sewage is back in my drinking H2O. Heard General Kadafi (spelling?) is heading our way.

EyesCrustedShut: IC. My 4 year old brother is thinking of becoming a soldier. Did u see Gilmore Girls last night?

"The Negroponte machine would rely on the Linux operating system, which can be had for free, and easily customized." Oh, well, that is good news. We wouldn't want a young man who lost his legs to some landmine to shell out $699 for Windows XP.

"The most challenging part of the design will be the display screen." No, the most challenging of part of the design will be holding classes in war ravaged countries to teach orphan kids how to create a PPT presentation.

"By the way, you're the battery. Negroponte wants to power his laptop with a crank, just like the ones used on emergency radios." Now there is a good idea. Let's sap the last ounce of strength from poverty-rich people to crank up the ol' Negroponte 5000.

"God bless him for his good intentions - and for coming up with a gadget that would be a hit even with people who can afford something better." Sweet mother of mercy stop kissing this guys ass. God bless him? Are you joking? If he said he is working on a new energy source that would require no fuel and provide little risk to the environment, I would say God bless him. And coming up with a gadget for people who can afford something better? What have you been reading? He is doing this to help third world countries. "Afford" is not a word they use regularly. You must be thinking of your Harvard club buddies, sorry, my mistake. I thought we were still talking about Sally Struthers' kids.

"Consider the lowly journalist on assignment. The Negroponte PC would be ideal for writers, students, travelers and hangers-on at the local Starbucks."? And it would be ideal for young men and women who have never seen 16 ounces of water that can be safely consumed, or a hamburger, or a movie theater, or fields of flowers, or a lacrosse game, or mounds of food going cold on a Thanksgiving Day table, or an unfinished bottle of wine being recorked, or a color printer, or snow plows, or the Super Bowl. Forget about Frappachinos, let's try wheat and penicillin. While my heart goes out to the "lowly journalist on assignment", it goes out even more to humans who are killed each day by genocide-driven soldiers, or die from disease and starvation. But that is just me, I don't write for the Boston Globe.

Forget crazy luxuries like food, water and health care, give them computers. That way they can play solitaire while they starve to death, or create spreadsheets to track the UNICEF trucks who give food shipments to local warlords. I like the idea of cheap laptops so I can buy one for each of my kids and they can bang away on the keys and make funny shapes, but don?t even for a second think that your plan is going to solve any of the core problems of third world countries. Education, definitely. Laptops, give me a break.