Dobrindts dot com...again

Whenever I hear or read a news story, I usually have a quick initial thought or reaction. I don’t stop, get all the facts, analyze the possible scenarios and then come up with an educated point of view. Not me. I react. Here are some examples of stories that I read or heard about today.

1. Headline: Bomb kills 20 at Pakistan shrine
Recap: Apparent homicide bomb detonated Friday as hundreds of Shiite Muslims recited verses from the Koran during a religious festival at a shrine near Pakistan's capital, killing at least 20 people and wounding dozen.
My first thought: Tragic. Innocent lives lost. I wonder how the media is going to blame Bush for this one.

2. Headline: Suspect refuses to budge from atop Atlanta crane
Recap: Ignoring pleas from police negotiators to surrender to authorities, a suspect in a Florida slaying on Friday remained atop an 18-story construction crane for a second day.
My first thought: Shoot him down.

3. Headline: Inquiry by U.S. Finds 5 Cases of Koran Mistreatment.
Recap: An American military inquiry has uncovered five instances in which guards or interrogators at the Guantánamo Bay detention facility in Cuba mishandled the Koran.
My first thought: Don’t we have more important things to worry about?

4. Headline: Jackson accuser video Okd
Recap: The judge in Jackson's child molestation trial ruled prosecutors may show a video of his alleged victim being interviewed by police.
My first thought: Is that thing still going on?

Posted by David at 05:01 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

I watched American Idol last night. The biggest flaw, well, maybe not the biggest, is that they don’t show the actual results. I would like to know the margin of victory of Trisha Yearwood over Chris Robinson. And I saw again that this crop, and all crops other than the first season, are marginally good. Let’s review the previous winners and runners up.

Season three. Winner was Fantasia Barrino. Terrible. Sounds like a young child trying to scream as loud as they can to bug the living crap out of their siblings. In fact, a screaming child probably sounds better. Like listening to a baby seal being clubbed to death, without the bloody mess.

Runner up was Diana DeGarmo, which I can’t remember a thing about. Surprise there.

Season two. Winner was the giant fat black guy, Ruben Studdard. While Fantasia winning made a mockery of the show, Ruben winning started the joke. Nothing against his style, but if he is the best this country can produce, then maybe pop singers are not our thing. England actually does it much better as shown by my brother-in-law’s obsession with bubble gum pop music when he lived there. And my brother-in-law makes George Bush look like a left wing socialist mamby pamby.

The runner up was the delicate flower Clay Aiken. Again, nothing against this guy, but Michael Bolton and Kenny G at least had some talent. Please shoot me for saying that. But if you want to be the soft, sensitive, wimpy girls-best-friend kind, at least have a voice like Barry Manilow or sex appeal like Neil Diamond. Please shoot me now for saying THAT.

Season One. Winner was Kelly Clarkson. Kelly, Clarkson. When she won the whole thing, I thought American Idol was a winner. This girl has got a great voice and a little bit of visual appeal. I might get beat up for this, but she really can sing. She continues to do pretty good stuff and if she were a little more attractive would be a huge success. Saying the other winners had the same amount of talent as Kelly Clarkson is like saying all countries in the UN have the same amount of influence as the US. As much as Cameroon might like to believe they have an equal voice, it’s just not true. Kelly Clarkson is the only American Idol winner to have any real chance at being a sustained pop idol.

Runner up was poor Justine Guarini. This guy’s 15 minutes of fame ended with a screeching halt. Wonder why? Could it be that he has no talent and he got as far because of his hair, which, by the way, he has cut off and looks like a parolee. The only redeeming quality in this guy was that he tried to move to Broadway and didn’t subject the world to any more attempts at radio.

The show last night was 1 hour, 55 minutes of total nonsense, 1 minute of announcing the winner, then an awkward few minutes of people on stage and a quiet audience. It was strange. It’s like the kid in high school who wins the ‘Most School Spirited’ award on senior night. It was like she won a cupcake for being the most caring Care Bear or something. And while I sat through the rest of the show to torment the horizonless landscape which I call my life, I realized that the best part of the series was anything but the ending. With Survivor, the end brings some closure. With American Idol, kind of like the Apprentice, the end left me feeling flat and empty.

And one other thing. No one wants to hear these people sing original songs. We want to hear them do renditions of songs that we all know so that we have something to compare it to. Listening to BoBi or Trisha sing something they made up while sitting on the crapper means nothing to me. It forces me to use the 30 second skip-ahead feature on my DVR remote control.

I say, like Brian from Watertown, let the audience vote off the worst person each week. Show the results. And bring in a panel of true experts, not just the three judges, to make a decision before they open up the voting to the general public. Oh, ha, before I forget. Why in the world did they bring that heavy black girl on to sing the national anthem? It was almost cruel. She obviously can’t sing and not only did the show totally embarrass her once during the season, they replayed it again last night and then paraded her out on the stage all dressed up to butcher that song again. What’s next, take a blind kid out on stage and throw baseballs at him? Maybe take a mentally handicapped person out and make them answer difficult trivia questions. It was awful, cruel and mean and the show should be ashamed for doing it.

I usually don’t watch this show until the final 12 or so are involved. I think next season I’ll watch up until the final 12 are chosen. While I think Simon did a much better job this year with being honest and direct with the singers, I find that the end result of the contest is way off the mark for what most people would find fulfilling.

Posted by David at 05:01 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

The finale for American Idol is on tonight. I don’t think I have been this excited since I learned that CSPAN3 was re-running a special on UN Reform hosted by the assistant deputy Chief of Staff to the 3rd congressional district rep of Wisconsin.

Posted by David at 05:00 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Mary Kay Letourneau got married this past weekend to her longtime boyfriend, Vili. I hear about classic love stories like this all the time and they always get me choked up. It’s the classic tail that we all know…

…teacher seduces 6th grade love interest who is more than 20 years her junior then gets pregnant with his kid even though she is married with 4 of her own kids and gets sent to prison because she can’t keep her paws off the toddler and has a second kid with him a few years later and makes a mockery of her family and finally marries the kid on a tabloid TV show..

..I see it all the time. I get a lump in my throat just thinking about those two love birds living happily ever after in the nut house. Speaking of wedding vows, I can’t help but shed a tear or two when they were exchanged on Access Hollywood. Vows like

Her – I promise to take you to gym class and wait with you until your mother arrives.

Him – I promise to do my homework and not chew gum in class

Her – You are my pupil…er…soul mate and we will be together until the end of time or 7th period.

Him – When you start collecting social security in a couple of years I hope to be old enough to buy you wine.

Her – After puberty I promise to show you how to shave.

Him – Thank you for making me the luckiest person in the world and the object of envy from every boy on my JV soccer team.

Her – I promise to stay by your side through sickness, health and the senior prom.

Him – I vow to sit in the front seat of your car when I am old enough.

Her – When I found you I realized what it means to truly love another without boundaries or what is socially and legally allowed.

Him – Our love will stay true through the countless magical moments we will share together and through the ups and downs like it did through elementary school, junior high, senior high and two stints in the pokey.

I heard their honeymoon is a trip to Washington DC with tours of the White House and a meeting with their congressman. Or maybe that was my senior trip in high school. Either way, congrats to the happy couple and may their journey through adolescents be a happy one.

Posted by David at 08:00 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

With the open work space we have in the office, there are not many conversations that are private. For the most part, many of us keep our voices really really low when we are on a private call, or take on our cell phone and move to a quiet area. But I heard this one guy who sits near me have this conversation. This is from his end only. He is a nice guy so I hope he doesn’t mind me making fun of him if he reads this blog at all, which I doubt he does. But if he does, no offense intended.

“Pick up bread and peppers…bread and peppers… bread … and peppers…peppers…bread and peppers…no, bread…and peppers…peppers…PEPPERS…PEPPERS…and bread…bread…BREAD…I didn’t say anything else…bread and peppers…PEPPERS…no, just bread and peppers…pick up some peppers…all different colors…AND BREAD…ok…peppers…bread too…ok, bye.”

Posted by David at 04:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Before Patti and I had children we used to run about 6 or 8 road races a year. They were either for charity or just for fun. We usually ran 5K races and occasionally did a 10K one with no real hope of coming anywhere near the front of the pack. I guess we could have been competitive if 1) we didn’t go out and drink so much, 2) trained like an Olympian or 3) cared. For us it was a good way to build our cheap T-shirt collection and get free bananas and key chains. But with having two kids we kind of dropped out of the habit.

This past year we made a commitment to run at least 6 races this year. We have some that we are doing for personal reasons (charity) and others that we are doing in the town we live just for fun. Today was race number 1, town of Milton fun race.

We had been training, sort of, so we had no real apprehension with the 5K race. Patti’s mother drove up to watch the kids while Patti and I did the race. We packed up in the car and went to Cunningham Park for this very popular annual race. There were two starting lines, one for the 5K and one for the 10K. Usually the races we run have an equal amount of 5K and 10K participants, but as we kept running into friends and neighbors, we realized that most of the people were running the 10K. The thought briefly crossed our minds to get in line with the 10K nuts, but we have been training mostly on a treadmill and had no idea if a little over 6 miles of running would leave us in stable condition.

So with 5K of course ahead of us, we started off on the race. Since I have a longer stride, but am certainly not in better shape, I usually run faster than Patti. I took off and hit the first mile marker in a little under 8 minutes. I kept the same pace and at the second mile marker was under 16 minutes. The great thing about races like this are that people in the community come out and sit along the course cheering runners on, handing out water, clapping and supporting the event. It’s a blast. For a small, very small, time I feel like a true competitor. I know it’s silly but when police officers stop traffic to let me run a race, it’s kind of a rush. Patti was only a short space behind me and finished the first mile marker at 9:25.

The course was through...

The course was through tree lined streets and had some mild hills. Nothing crazy. At 24:45 I crossed the finish line to a crowd of cheering fans. For Milton, this race is a big event and the finish area was filled with vendors giving out free stuff, families, little kids and a general festive environment. I hooked up with Patti’s mom, the kids, our neighbor who is a Fire Department volunteer and had one of the FD trucks, and other people I know. I waited for Patti to finish, who crossed at a little over 30 minutes, and then we all hung out, eating free yogurt and vitamin water, giving the kids balloons and ice cream and doing what only a few years ago I would have made fun of.

After the 10K runners started coming in, the event coordinator started announcing winners. With events like this they usually have awards for the top three finishers in major categories, like over 65 men, 20-29 women, etc. Since I have as much chance of placing as being elected President, I usually don’t pay attention. But as I was standing in a crowd, playing with the kids, talking to my neighbor, I heard the following…

“In the 30-39 year old category, finishing third among the men…David Dobrindt.”

My head abruptly turned toward the general area of the award platform like they just said Mitt Romney arrived naked on horseback. I must not have heard them right. They announced me. I turned to Patti who was standing with a bunch of other people about 50 feet away and they were all looking at me like it must be a joke. Surely I paid someone to make the announcement. I had placed third. At least in my category. Forget for a moment that there were probably only 3 people total in my category, I placed third.

So after a few seconds of total shock, followed by some good natured ribbing, I went up to get my award. I walked up to the table and told them they called my name. They took a metal on a ribbon and placed it over my head. It was hysterical. I almost expected them to put a laurel wreath on my head, kiss both cheeks and salute my flag.

I asked how many people were in my category and they didn’t know. When I was running I noticed a lot of teenaged girls, old men, a lot of women and pretty much no other 30-something year old men. Well, there were at least 2 others and they finished before me.

I immediately took the ribbon off and made my way back to my group. I got a very sincere hug and congrats from Patti, a few jokes from my neighbor and a bunch of “atta-boy”s from my friends. Later when we were home I put the ribbon on and told Patti I was going to join the circuit to try to make some money running races. She said that I might want to start running the kids races so that I would at least place first.

I know if I ran the 10K race I would have been in the bottom 3. But for the first time since I started running these races, I had something other than a tight XL t-shirt and meaningless coupons from local merchants to show for it.

Posted by David at 04:58 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

I see London I see France, I see Saddam’s underpants.
I see Scotland I see Spain, I see a the media about to complain.

Someone took, and then obviously sold, pictures of Saddam Hussein in his underseats and other personal images. I am counting off on my fingers the number of seconds it is going to take the liberal lunatics out there to condemn George Bush for orchestrating this travesty.

Now I hear Al Jazeera, the Middle Eastern version of CNN, is refusing to broadcast the pictures because they are a violation of human rights. WHAT?!? HUH?!!? Are you (expletive deleted) KIDDING ME?? You run in a continuous loop the beheading of innocent captives by violent terrorists but you stand on this human rights box when it’s a picture of your lovely dictator sleeping in his feety PJs. You, Mr. Al Jazeera, are a freakin joke. Saying they are a violation of human rights is like Ted Kennedy condemning drinking. And while we’re on the topic, the beheadings are not done quickly and humanely like people think. It’s not a guillotine or really sharp samurai sword they use, it’s a group of thugs holding down some poor human being fighting to get loose while another soon-to-be living-in-hell terrorist saws his head off with a dull and rusty fish knife. It’s an awful and excruciatingly painful way to die and your network airs it like it belongs on Funniest Home Videos. And then you condemn the US for showing, and they weren’t even published here first, pictures of the old man in his underoos. If it was a video of Saddam’s beheading, would Al Jazeera broadcast them? Hmm. I wonder.

And a message to George Bush – STOP APOLOGIZING. Stop saying you are sorry for a stupid action of someone as far removed from your control as humanly possible. And especially don’t apologize for these pictures.

Posted by David at 04:58 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

I have this stapler at work that uses staples that are too big so that if you staple only 2 or 3 pages, the staple gets compressed but sticks out and can cut your finger, sort of. But it is not strong enough to staple anything more than 5 or 6 pages, which then have to be bound with a binder clip. It’s so damn annoying. And no, it’s not red and my name is not Milton.

Sometimes I feel like I am adrift in a sea of boundless discontent.

Posted by David at 04:57 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

If you don't want to hear a story about little kids, then turn away. Otherwise, read on.

I went to Emily’s school today. The school had a “pancake breakfast with your grandparents” day. The pre-school has fund raisers and things like this that I have to fight by cynical dark side and say nice things about. For this event, the kid could bring someone else if a grandparent could not make it. Considering the kids are 3 or so, a lot of grandparents are still in the workforce and probably could not take off. Or like us, both of our parents live very far away. So I went.

I’ll admit it started out a little shaky. I was the first non-child there. Out of 8 kids, 4 ended up having grandparents. I was the only non-grandparent. But for the first 5 minutes or so it was me, my daughter, and 3 other little kids in a room with miniature furniture and thousands of play items. In a room with bright colors, names on cut-out buses on the wall, cubby holes with flowers and a tank with painted snails. The other little kids looked at me, the two people who work there are women, like David Duke at a Black Panther rally. Like Mark Witaker at the GOP fund raiser. Wide-eyed kids starred at me while I tried to pick up plastic fish with a tiny fishing pole and stay within the stencil lines. But two other grandmothers and one set of grandparents made me feel more auspicious about the morning.

Then came what seemed like a very long period of random alone play time, a period where the kids could do whatever they want, which, at least to me, is contrary to the whole “school” thing of learning and education. I was worried that this structured setting was nothing but a prolonged playtime. But one of the teachers then had a session which seemed like it was a normal thing. She had a little lesson and read a couple of books and did things in sign language. It was nice.

Then we went on to the pancakes. It was in the gym of the church and was set up on two tables. The grandparents, and me, sat next to their little ones. I think for some of the other kids pancakes are a rare thing, and at least for one kid something they have never had. For Emily, Patti’s famous pancakes are on the table a couple of times a week. Emily LOVES pancakes and goes through them like me drinking beer on a Saturday afternoon in August. She ate 4 and all the other kids, grandparents and teachers were very impressed. That’s my girl. Eat like a lineman and don’t apologize.

I had a very nice conversation with the complete grandparent set. The guy was a venture capitalist in the tech field and him and his wife both lived in a pretty nice section of Boston. The teachers made coffee for the adults and I got to have a couple of Aunt Jemima’s best.

During bed time Emily and I were talking. When I put her to bed I usually have her tell me about her day and what she did/what made her happy/how she feels. She said something about the pancakes. Testing her I said she had 2 pancakes and held up two fingers. She yelled out she had 4 pancakes and held up 10 fingers. Young kids can be the ultimate test in patience and really push the limit on what a person can take, but the other 10% of the time they are really fun.

Posted by David at 04:57 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

The other day I had a flight and got to the airport in plenty of time. I boarded the plane for a 3:30 scheduled departure. About 10 minutes before we were scheduled to leave the pilot came on and said that an inspection of the plane found that it was hit by lightening and that while not uncommon, this particular hit made a bigger mark than usual. Delta procedure called for a methodical inspection which is a good thing, so he said that the wait would probably be about an hour. Since I had a book to read and they turned on the TVs on the plane, I sat back and relaxed. About 30 minutes later he came on and said they were going to cancel the flight and we all had to get off.

At this point in my story most of the 3 faithful readers of my blog would expect a cynical tale of terrible customer service and horrid examples of why Delta is the devil. But not this time.

I was with a colleague and as we both got off with the 200+ other passengers we heard a gate agent come over the PA in the terminal and told all of us to see a gate agent (at this point about 50 people deep for one person) or to go to a section with a bank of phones and call reservations (about 100 people deep). Always trying to find a shortcut, I just called Delta directly from a pay phone. The phone person said that myself and my colleague were already rebooked on the 7PM flight and that we were all set. Nice. Taking care of us. Good.

We had to kill a couple of hours and the place was a zoo. Not wanting to sit in the terminal and try to find some place to plug our laptops into, I decided to try the Delta Crown Room. I do not have a pass (costs a few hundred dollars) and was not with someone who is a member (then I get in for free). But I thought I would try. After all, I was well dressed and only wanted the quiet work space, not to drink and cause trouble, like I usually do. So we waited in line and when it was our turn to talk to the receptionist person in the Crown Room I walked up and in a very quiet voice said “Our flight was cancelled and we have to kill a couple of hours, do you mind if we work in here for a while?”. The women, also in a quiet tone, said “No problem, go on in, just don’t tell anybody.” Bless this Delta rep for breaking the rules to make me, a very difficult person to please, happy.

So we worked in there, went to the Summer Shack restaurant for dinner and got ignored for a while and finally left, then got on our flight. The Summer Shack story is almost too insignificant to tell. Short version – we sat down and were ignored for about 7 or 10 minutes. While being ignored, another person sat down next to us, a waitress came by, took his drink order, and brought it to him, and we had not even seen a person yet. I got up to ask the hostess to send someone over to us, she turned and said something to another waitress who asked ME what section I was in, like I would somehow know, then I went back to the table to continue being ignored for another 5 or so minutes. At that point we just gave up and left. Who cares, there are 10 other places to get something to eat.

Anyway, while in the Crown Room another Delta person moved our seats on the next flight to good seats in the exit row and gave us meal vouchers. Another example of doing more than was expected and left me feeling good.

We got on our flight, had an uneventful time, then made it to the hotel in Orlando.

Posted by David at 05:56 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

I got home kind of late on Tuesday night. Emily went to bed a little late so she was still awake when I got home. Usually when she is awake but in bed and she hears me come in, she calls from her room for me to come up and see her. So I went up and sat down in a chair next to the bed.

Me: Hi honey, how was your day?

Emily: Good. I missed you.

Me: I missed you too. How are you feeling? (she had been sick)

Emily: Good. Can you read me a story?

Me: Not tonight sweetie, you need your sleep and I have to pack a bag.

Emily: Are you going on an airplane?

Me: Yes, I am going on a business trip.

Emily: To see grandpa and grandma?

Me: No, I am going to see clients.

Emily: I like monkeys.

Now, at this point I could have made some joke about monkeys and clients, but she wouldn’t have gotten it. This is one of the reasons I love talking to her. The conversation can go in any direction at any point and I don’t have to really think to hard when I talk to her. Now that I think about it, very much like work.

Posted by David at 04:55 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Something I like to do, not sure why, is throw in a weird statement into an otherwise normal conversation.

Me: So you start with the individual pages, add build hours and the tool extrapolates the entire SO effort.

Colleague: Looks good. What then?

Me: Estimate the entire project.

Colleague: Then we can add a blended rate and reduce by client discount rate, right?

Me: Yep. Are bats really blind?

Colleague: What?

Me: (quietly, under my breath) Nothing, forget it.

OR

Me: Did you see the Yankee game last night?

Friend: Yeah, pitching looked great. Rivera is coming out of his funk.

Me: ARod really tore it up at the plate. He is finally swinging for the fences.

Friend: Did you see the awful calls the home plate umpire was giving Mussina?

Me: Have you ever tried putting on a costume to be a real super hero?

Friend: What did you say?

Me: (quietly, under my breath) Nothing. Forget it.

Posted by David at 04:54 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Now that Mother’s Day is behind us, I started thinking about other holidays we celebrate, and I use that term very loosely. Here is my take on some of the more well known, and less known, events. I left off the non-Christian holidays, like Yom Kippur, since I am not Jewish.

New Years Day – Celebrate another day on the calendar, remind people about the pain of getting older, sleep off a hangover.

Martin Luther King Day – The most influential black rights activist in history, he deserves this day. Jesse Jackson is a joke compared to him. Government jobs have off, I do not.

Groundhog Day – About as stupid of a day as I can think of. Means nothing to me. Stupid rat doesn’t see his shadow and we get more winter?? Wh…huh…what crack addict thought of this tradition? Drunk polka dancing looks like fun though. Plus great Bill Murray movie.

Presidents Day – Wonderful idea here. Set aside a day to remember our earlier presidents because people somehow forget that most of them were adulterating wealthy drunks who owned slaves.

Valentines Day – Holiday made up by Hallmark to boost lagging sales, puts undo pressure on men who want to keep their sex lives active.

Saint Patrick’s Day – Suddenly everyone claims to be Irish so they can get stinking drunk at 9 in the morning and act like fools, or in Boston, a typical Thursday.

Easter - The most important Christian holiday there is, let’s eat ham. Give kids chocolate first thing in the morning because a mystical rabbit came by the night before? Where is the connection?

Arbor Day – No idea at all how this came about. If we are going to have a day to remember to plant a tree, how about one to remember to wipe you’re a**. Sorry, trees are good, just kind of curious about the history on this one.

Mothers Day – Ridiculous event created by Hallmark, I hate them (Hallmark, not mothers), to make their quarterly numbers. Puts pressure on people like me to do something for the moms and spend a ton of money. Most mother’s do what most men could never do, so setting aside one day to honor them seems insulting.

Birthdays - We celebrate an actual day that someone was born, fine, I get this. Kind of crazy that the first few birthdays are huge events that the kids will never remember, where we gloss over most adult birthdays.

Fathers Day – Dumber than Mother’s Day. How about this, on Father’s day they should track down all deadbeat dads and men who leave their wife and kids without any support, and beat them unconscious.

Memorial Day - Remember the brave men and women who risked and gave their lives for our freedom, day off from work. Start of the summer, sort of. Usually cold in the morning and evening, lukewarm during the day. Try swimming at Jones Beach on Memorial Day. Headlights and shrinkage, welcome to Field 4.

July 4th - Birth of our nation, get drunk and sun burned. And oh yeah, after getting tanked on cheap canned beer, light off bombs with kids running around. I just wish this was like Memorial or Labor Day and always on a Monday. I hate when it falls on a Wednesday. It does cut the week up though.

Labor Day – Do unemployed get to do anything? Trailing bookend to the summer. Depressing because most people have a slow and steady decline to look forward to ending in an ice and snow induced shut in. Parents of kids celebrate getting their routine back.

Columbus Day – Celebrate someone’s inability to sail. On October 12 a new era of European expansion and exploration began. Wonder if the folks in the Bahamas think it’s so great.

Halloween – Give otherwise normal kids a chance to beg for candy. Give older kids a reason to attack people with eggs and shaving cream. Give adults a chance to buy huge bags of candy and eat 90% of it themselves.

Veterans Day – War, anyway you slice it, is horrific. Necessary, but horrific. A 92 year old bronze star winner I met recently said “World War 2 was awful, I still have medical problems from it. Living in a fox hole for days at a time like animals.” These guys deserve more respect than anyone can give them.

Thanksgiving - We honor the moment we doomed the native Indians. Lovely.

Day After Thanksgiving – Since someone came up with the bright idea of a Thursday holiday, let’s just forget the entire work thing and give them off on Friday too, brilliant.

Christmas - The birth of the most famous and influential person in history, and as Christians believe, the savior of our souls. Children believe a gigantic fair skinned geriatric in a bright red costume, with a long beard, magically brings gifts to them in the middle of the night by illegally entering their homes through the chimney. If someone suggested this in today’s society, he would be fitted with an ankle bracelet and told to stay away from schools.

New Years Eve – Normally civilized people feel the need to get drunk and celebrate, way too crowded and obnoxious day around the globe. I wonder how many people do things they regret on this night, not that I would know. For parents of little children, staying awake to see the ball drop is far less important than getting some sleep. TiVo will record the event if something fun happens.

Posted by David at 04:52 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

When I drive to and from work, my mind often wanders. I like to think of it as day dreaming but it’s probably ADD. Either way, I pass my time by listening to talk radio and talking to myself. Sometimes I talk on the phone but for the most part hate talking on a cell phone, especially in the car, and would rather wait until I am in front of a land line. When anyone drives in traffic, there are a few different behaviors that I always find interesting. I often wonder what the person is like who drives a certain way. I tried to categorize some of the things people do and took a guess at what they are like in person.

1 – Laggers. I hate this behavior. Hate it. When I am in the car it is usually in heavy traffic. Vehicles move anywhere from a stand still to 30 miles an hour. A lagger is someone who always keeps at least a 3 or 4 car-length distance between themselves and the car in front of them. 99% of drivers in traffic, because it’s moving so slow, are pretty close to the car in front of them, let’s guess it at one to ½ a car length. The lagger is someone who almost never gets anywhere near that close. When traffic is moving and there is this huge gap, the lagger will slam on their brakes when they see the brake light go on from the car in front of them, even though they have a huge amount of cushion. This drives me nuts. I sit behind this type of driver and watch car after car after car get in front of this person while our lane continues to make less progress as other lanes. It drives me nuts.

I can picture the type of person. Walks slow in the mall or at an airport so others have a hard time getting by them. Window shops and often looks like they are trying to peer out from under their glasses at something that is eye level. Takes their time in line at a store, doesn’t get their cash or credit card out until the cashier tells them the total. Hugely risk adverse. Waits for the crosswalk to tell them when to go. Life is a little boring and slow. No rush to get anywhere because probably not much waiting for them. Low to mid level local government job in accounting or book keeping.

2 – No turn signal. This is a fairly common driver, especially in Massachusetts. In fact...

2 – No turn signal. This is a fairly common driver, especially in Massachusetts. In fact, drivers ed in this state never touches on these silly sticks coming out of the steering column called “turn signals”. This driver cuts from lane to lane, gets into the off or onramp, makes right turns at intersections, and the turn arrow is never a thought. Most of the time this doesn’t bother me except when it impedes on what I am doing. If I am driving along at whatever speed I want and someone in front of me moves lanes without a turn signal, who cares, no harm done to me. But when I am waiting to make a right hand turn and there is a car coming from the left, and I wait and wait and the car slows down and makes the right onto the street I am on, I get annoyed. I could have gone if I knew they were turning.

This person is easier to peg than most. Arrogant, self-important condescending jerk. This is the type of person who walks right up to the security checkpoint even though there is a huge line and sneaks his way into the line. This person enters a coffee shop that doesn’t have a good queue system and goes right to the next available order-taker. This person smokes cigars on a busy sidewalk, this person sneezes really really loud without covering their nose, this person is an all around a-hole. After all, if they have no consideration to tell other drivers what they are doing, why would their non-driving life be any different? I was at a really charged NBA playoff game once and their was this guy in one of the first rows behind the bench. Every time the home team did something good, the crowd would go wild and this guy would turn around, face the crowd, and lift his arms into a giant ‘Y’ like he was the pope blessing the crowd. In his mind he was imploring the crowd to cheer and we were all abiding by his command. THAT guy doesn’t use his turn signal. This type of driver complains to a bartender that their isn’t enough scotch in his drink, yells at a waitress for getting one minor thing wrong with is order, and makes a lot of noise in a movie theater. I hate this type of person more than anyone else because this person is often a bully. I hate bullies.

3 – Dead stop lane change.

This one is usually because of poor driving habits and lack of experience or confidence, or both. Let me describe the situation. I am in medium traffic and all three lanes are going between 5 and 30 miles an hour. I am in the far left lane. Traffic in all lanes starts to slow down to about 5 miles an hour. The car in front of me puts on their turn signal and stops to get into the middle lane, which is fine because all traffic has pretty much stopped. Traffic in my lanes starts to move faster than the other two. MOST drivers would forget getting over and keep the flow of traffic moving. The dead stop lane changer stays where they are. The middle lane has not moved yet so they cannot get over, but our lane is moving fine. So I sit there, behind this person who is trying to get over, while the middle lane does not move and the car in front of the dead stop car gets farther and farther away. To make it worse, cars from the middle lane start getting over into the my lane because they see that 1) it is moving and 2) there is this huge and expanding gap.

This person is hard to define. At times I think it is someone who is new to driving but not young. Young drivers are aggressive and will keep up with the fast lane. This driver might be from another country where driving in cars is not something they grew up doing. This type of behavior is indicative of someone who is not used to the customs of driving. This could also be an older or timid driver who is nervous about not finding an opportunity to change lanes during heavy traffic and for some reason has gotten the approval from someone while traffic was at a stand still and doesn’t want to lose their chance. There is also a valid reason for this, such as an off ramp coming up that the person has to use. This doesn’t bother me as much because I have learned to be much more forgiving in traffic because it’s not a race and who cares if I get stuck an extra minute or two.

4 – Lookers.

This is often done on a road with a lot of lights. It is when a driver comes to a stand still and looks to the left and right to see who is in the cars around him. What I find interesting is when someone on the highway does this. When it is done on a road with lights it’s usually some young guy or group of young guys looking for chicks or someone to start a fight with. But during rush hour, on the highway, drivers are usually going to and from work, with no other objective than that. They are usually not trying to find a date or anything. So this baffles me a little.

The type of driver is exactly how I describe. Young, usually male, not real attractive or much to offer otherwise they wouldn’t be looking to meet girls while in separate cars. It’s usually in some piece of crap old beat up muscle car that is past its point of impressing people.

Car pool.

There is something else I find interesting. There has never been any kind of effort to get people to car pool. Nothing significant at least. When you look at rush hour traffic at the macro level, it’s about people from outlying communities funneling into a few roads to get to a city. Simple. And there has to be a lot of people from each community who travel to work at roughly the same time. But when you look at almost all the cars on the road in the morning and afternoon, there is almost always one person. And they are not these tiny cars either, it’s a lot of wasted space in SUVs and trucks and mini vans and sedans. I am guilty since I have a large pick-up truck. But it amazes me that there has never been a culture of leaving three cars in the community and maximizing the space inside one car, thus reducing the amount of cars on the road. I assume the problem is that people like the freedom of their own car, just like I do, and that a lot of people like being alone in the car, like I do. With other people you have to share the radio, reduce the amount of time you talk on the phone, and make small talk. Three things that would deter me from car pooling.

Anyway, spending time in traffic is not so bad. For the most part I leave enough time so I am not in a huge rush, I enjoy the solitude, and I learn to be patient with bad people because there is absolutely nothing good that will come of being upset and yelling and beeping your horn. And I spend time thinking about stupid stuff like this, which I write about later in the day.

Posted by David at 04:51 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Patti said there is a conspiracy theory going around about American Idol where people who hate the show, or at least don’t like the people who get to stay, are calling in and voting for the person who is actually doing the worst. Since callers vote for who they think is the best, this little coup is keeping the worst contestants around while the best get voted off. If this is the case, I am voting. Anthony Federov, you have my vote buddy. Keep up the good work, you make even me sound good.

Posted by David at 04:51 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

This stupid, freakin, moronic story is on every news channel I watch. It is painful. It’s like watching someone mess up an already bad joke. I hate this story, hate Michael Jackson, and hate that it is taking away from other stories that might be important. It’s killing me that this sick pedophile, and let’s call it straight, he is guilty, because if it was one kid who accused him than I would give him the benefit of the doubt, but its one kid after another for a long period of time. So this sick pedophile shows up in his outfits that make most gay men cringe, and his trial gets more airtime than other trivial events like the economy, social security, security threats or the EFFING WAR IN IRAQ. Even the lunch menu for Sunken Meadow Junior High would be more interesting.

Sorry. I couldn’t care less about most celebrity news, including weddings, who is dating who, who broke up with who, who is in rehab and above all who is making a joke of our legal system and will get away with a terrible crime.

Posted by David at 04:50 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

There comes a time, when you heed a certain call, and the world must come together as one.

That song has not stopped playing in my head for like 3 days.

Anyway, there comes a time when I part company with certain TV shows. I think of it as breaking up with them. They are still running but for some reason I no longer am interested in watching them. Two that have hit that mark.

1. Everybody Loves Raymond.

I used to love this show. I would watch it on Monday nights and then 3 days later when it was syndicated on TNT or whatever cable channel. I think I liked it because the fictional character went to St. John’s, like I did, lived on Long Island, like I did, and wrote for Newsday, which I consider the best all around newspaper in the country. I loved that show. The family was dysfunctional, the character an everyday kind of guy, and it was about sports. Sports. Sports writer for Newsday who went to St. John’s. But at the beginning of last year I tried watching it once and found myself thinking of other shows. My mind kept wandering and I keep wondering what else was on even as Robert and Debra picked on Raymond. I found myself fantasizing about NYPD Blue, even though I wouldn’t see it until the next night. I kept finding things wrong with it, and found myself getting annoyed at the slightest things. And this year I find the show whenever I am channel surfing while running on my treadmill in the basement, and stopping to watch is never considered. Everybody Loves Raymond and I have officially split up. We have gone our separate ways. I find nothing redeeming about it now and wonder what I actually saw in it during the good years. Even the kids are ugly now that they have grown up. It’s a train wreck. I guess it had an edge to it, and a slice-of-life type comedy that is really hard to sustain. But now I find it boring and tedious, the plots just rehashed and Debra is a mean and vicious woman.

Oh well, it was fun while it lasted and there are a couple of episodes that I will remember fondly. Good luck and I will probably watch the series finale in a few weeks.

2. ER

This one came out of the blue. I was blind sided. When I got my TiVo type box, a DVR from Comcast, my friend Brian from Watertown told me it would change my TV watching behavior forever. And it has. One thing is that after we set up a season pass to record all of our shows, we are no longer on a time clock. Being in front of the TV each Thursday at 10 to watch ER is as important as wearing a surgical gown and stethoscope. With the DVR, we sit down and play old shows whenever we want to. It’s glorious.

So with that said, over the last 2 months, when I have sat down to catch up on the recordings, I have always found a reason to skip ER. I go through other shows first, I search for new movies on On Demand, I surf. ER is sitting there in my DVR recordings and I let it sit there, without giving it any attention or time. So this past Saturday Patti and I had about 1 hour to kill at night and we had nothing else to watch, so we played the most recent ER. About 20 minutes into it, I turned to Patti and said “I think I am going to break up with ER”.

This one is hard on me. I loved ER, and still find it interesting. But for some reason, I can’t bring myself to watch it. I think maybe after 11 years on the air, the show has runs its course. Hospital shows, like cop shows, offer an infinite amount of stories, but do have an expiration date. I think that has come for ER. I think another reason I don’t like it is because there are no dark plots, like a drug or drinking problem, or the bad side of a nice person. It’s just…blah. That feeling was creeping up with NYPD Blue when they decided to call it quits and I didn’t have to go through the heartache of splitting up.

I still like ER, sort of, but think I will no longer attempt to watch it. If I am home at 10 on a Thursday night, I will probably watch it because there is no need to keep up with each episode, but I have a feeling I won’t be seeing any of my old friends anymore. Goodbye Carter, goodbye Abby, goodbye Pratt and Luka, I’ll miss you. It was fun while it lasted but we grew apart, our goals changed, and with my increasingly limited time to watch TV, you are getting bumped. Thanks for the memories, it was fun. I’ll see you at your finale episode.

Posted by David at 06:49 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Look, I am with the family’s pastor on one thing, I am glad this girl is alive. When I heard about her missing, I thought of that case in Utah, Lori Hacking, where her husband reported her missing and made a big deal and it turns out he killed her, dumped her body into a trash bin and cried wolf. And we all know about the Laci Petersen thing. So I first thought that the husband killed her, wrong, I know, because a better person would have assumed she was murdered by a complete stranger, not her husband. And let’s be honest, we all thought she was abducted and killed, an unfortunate result of the world we live in. But as we all know, after a long and intensive search, Jennifer Wilkins resurfaced in New Mexico after getting artic feet and ran away. Her pastor said (not verbatim, but close)

“We are embarrassed but are happy she is alive. She needs our prayers, she needs help, and she needs our forgiveness.”

Well, she also needs to pay back the county or town or whatever municipal group funded the massive search. And she needs to offer up a huge apology for all those people who volunteered, those people who were worried sick and those who started to lock their doors and look at each other with suspicion after everyone assumed something bad happened. Good Lord what was she thinking? Most people, sane people, would hide out at a girlfriend’s place, maybe run off to a parent’s house or favorite aunt, but to go out for a run, and drop off the face of the earth? What a lunatic.

I remember once when I was little I sat in my father’s car in the driveway and talked to truckers on his CB. I made stupid crap up like “Need assistance, my canoe is taking on water as is 2 feet deep. I am a midget and might drown” or “Trucker, trucker, any info on the vending machine at LIE rest stop 40-B, not sure if I have nickels.”. Stupid stuff. But I felt guilty as anything when someone actually responded and asked if I needed assistance. They were sincere. They assumed I needed some help. Well, this idiot in Georgia cried wolf in the worst way possible and I wish she took that rainbow colored quilt off her head so I could see what stupid looks like.

Posted by David at 04:48 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Hey, Curt Schilling, shut your big fat mouth. Enough of your crap. I used to like you, especially after you came out and supported Bush, but now you are getting on my nerves. First, stop offering your opinion on everything. Second, don’t call Lou Piniella an “idiot”. You go on radio and TV shows and start mouthing off like some drunk uneducated sports fan in a Somerville bar who thinks they know something about everything. Uh oh, I just described myself. But you get on your soap box and start bashing a manager who, by the way, also was a pretty good player. You were out of line in calling him an idiot and attacking his integrity and you know it. Actually, maybe not, considering you think everyone else on this planet is stupid and knows less than you. I am sick of hearing your horse, condescending voice yap about this and that. You are a great pitcher but no one appointed you the voice and supreme opinion of EVERYTHING. Shut IT.

And that’s another thing. If I see your wife on TV one more time I am going to glue my eyes shut. She is on more than most Red Sox players. She is attractive for an older lady and I appreciate the charity work, but tell her to give it a rest. The stupid bobble ankle toy is ridiculous. It looks dumb. If she wants to raise money for charity, tell her to sell one of the Ford F150s you got doing your low budget commercials, which, by the way, SUCK.

One other thing. The Red Sox throw at players all the time. Opening series they hit 5, FIVE, Yankee players. Pedro, a guy who said was your buddy last year, threw at Matsui’s head last year because he was hitting him well. The year before Pedro threw at Garcia in the playoffs, threw at his head, because he was getting hit like a piñata. Your team plunks opposing players all the time, starts fights, then complains when it is done to them. Give me a freakin’ break. It’s a case of the bully getting bullied. If I stand in front of my house and throw rocks at people who walk by, I sure in hell would not start crying when someone decides to throw rocks back. Your team, Curt, is a bunch of whining cry babies because someone, an old school manager that is an “idiot”, decided to give you some of your own medicine. I just wished Torre drank Heineken for breakfast like Piniella so maybe the Yanks would start giving you just a little of the medicine you so readily dispense to other teams.

Posted by David at 10:47 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)