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I am trying to get into the World Cup. I really am. Living in the Boston area I am surrounded by wanna-be European socialists who talk about soccer like we are standing in the middle of an Arsenal/MU game, getting sauced for a good old fashion riot.

So this year I said to myself "Dave, you are going to get into this. You ARE going to read about it, watch it on TV, follow on the internet, read about the stars and watch the highlights." My goal was to be able to hold a conversation with the most knowledgeable soccer fan in the crowd. So I logged on to the official World Cup site, www.fifaworldcup.com and looked around. Not a bad site. I already check out ESPN a few times a day so I look for the highlights.

So on Saturday, a day after it started, I watched the Sweden/Trinidad Tobago game. You know what? It ended in a 0-0 tie. Yup, a low scoring tie. It wasn't a bad game but I have to admit I was bored. I tried to get my kids to watch and they were not interested. That's not saying much because unless it involves cartoons or funny dressed humans, there is pretty much no interest.

I'm sorry but this isn't working out. I gave it a shot. I really did. But I just don't find it exciting. It's not for me. I played soccer when I was a kid. Almost all kids do. I was actually pretty good and stopped in junior high to play contact sports. I know how exciting soccer can be, how good the players are, how great defense is, that keeping it low scoring is what it's all about. But I just can not get into it. The World Cup is huge, I get that. We, as Americans, are focused on our own narrow interests. That's terrible and why the world hates us. I get that. I hear it all the time from bleeding heart liberals I am surrounded by in this blue state who for some reason don't move to Europe where the sun is brighter, the water is cooler and the air is fresher. To them, the US is bad, Europe, and especially France is the greatest place on earth, and our lack of interest in the World Cup is just another strike in our global standing.

I know I should have been excited that it was actually a victory for T&T to end in a tie. But it was a freakin' tie game for Christ's sake. I know I should be shouting over the fence to my neighbor "Ronaldo better step it up after the Croatia match, Australia is a tougher team." By the way, is Croatia that good that they are a top 32 team? I thought Croatia was in a war or something.

Anyway, I know I should be talking about Ukraine's devastating thrashing at the hands of Spain, but I don't care. Will Baros recover in time to play? I don't know. Don't really care. Is the Czech Republic going to make some noise? Maybe, maybe not. My world will still turn.

It's not that I am an isolationist. I was born in another country. I grew up spending weekends in Paris and London, traveling to Germany for a Roger Waters concert when I was 20. I have had a passport since I was a month old. I like the globe. Love other countries. Would love to spend more time traveling around the world. But soccer? World Cup? It's just not my thing.

So the question I keep asking myself is "What is wrong with it?" That's a tough question to answer. Because my view very rarely matches the normal, logical view most people take, I could offend some. But here goes.

- Low scoring. I brought this up with a British friend of mine at a party recently. He got a little offended and said that low scoring games are the most exciting. Yep, and low scoring hockey games have done wonders for that sport. I love low scoring baseball games, hate low scoring football games. Love low scoring golf matches, hate low scoring basketball games. I think US fans just can't get into a 0-0 tie.

- Players. Professional soccer players in Europe are rock stars. They make a ton of money, marry models, are in the tabloids, live like professional athletes. Do you want me to name an American soccer player? Shep Messing. From the Cosmos. That's it. They are just not big names here. They don't get arrested for beating up women, they are not caught with non-wife females driving drunk at 3 in the morning, do not get into motorcycle accidents, are not investigated for taking steroids, do not go to trial for manslaughter and as far as I know do not have side careers as rap stars. They are good athletes, playing a good sport, serving as good role models but are not household names.

- One dimensional. I hate to say this, and it is probably somewhat controversial, but soccer players do one thing. They run really well. I know there is that guy that invented a turn, the player who dribbles the ball on his head through crowds of players and bicycle kicks and stuff. But for the most part we get to watch people run fast, for a long time, and kick a ball. It's the same reason tour bike racing, the Armstrong stuff, is not popular. The attention span of video age, multi media, PDA, multi tasking Americans is short. We want to watch players hit while skating while directing a puck. We want to watch players run, dive and catch a ball. We want to watch football players zig and zag around monsters trying to kill them. It makes me wonder why rugby is not a bigger sport here. But for soccer, I think it just might be too slow. It also makes me wonder why Nascar is so popular.

- Promotion. I might be blind to it, but I don't think it's marketed. The NBA did a great job at using Michael Jordan to take the game to another level. MLB did a great job of using McGuire and Sosa to get it out of the post 1994 strike doldrums. The NFL could not do a better job at marketing teams, where small towns like Green Bay could be the most popular franchise in football and compete against the big city teams like NY. I have a feeling that regional marketing and promotions are done, like Brazilian areas of Boston, but not on a national or consistent scale.

I don't know, maybe I'm wrong. Maybe it's really popular here and everyone is on the edge of their seats hoping the US beats Italy. Maybe I am missing the movement of the herd and am the only one bored by it. But bored I am. Sorry soccer fans, I wish I could be into it. I know it's a huge deal for everyone outside the US, but for me it's just not doing it. I wanted to get into it, I really did, but I think I'll turn my attention back to the Yankees and Sox, how the Jets look in camp and ignoring the Stanley Cup.