Red Sox Stink 2007

I need to clear something up. All I hear about his how old the Yankees pitching staff is. Right? Red Sox fans, you'll agree that the age argument is an arrow in your quiver this year. Right? Well, let's take a quick look at a "normal" starting rotation for both teams.

Yankees
Mussina, 38
Pettitte, 34
Wang, 27
Clemens (assuming he will be on the starting rotation), 44
Phil Hughes (again, assuming when he is healthy he will be in the starting rotation), 20
AVERAGE AGE = 32.6

Red Sox
Beckett, 27
Dice-K, 26
Schilling, 40
Wakefield, 40
Tavarez, 34
AVERAGE AGE=33.4

So with a starting rotation that you would probably have if everyone is healthy, the Sox actually have an older pitching staff than the Yankees. But for those Sox fans who need to keep arguing until it goes in their favor, lets look at other possible rotations.

Yankees
Mussina, 38
Pettitte, 34
Wang, 27
Clemens, 44
Pavano, 31
AVERAGE AGE = 34.8

Yankees
Mussina, 38
Pettitte, 34
Wang, 27
Clemens, 44
Karstens, 24
AVERAGE AGE = 33.4

Red Sox
Beckett, 27
Dice-K, 26
Schilling, 40
Wakefield, 40
Lester, 23
AVERAGE AGE= 31.2

Red Sox
Beckett, 27
Dice-K, 26
Schilling, 40
Wakefield, 40
Clement, 32
AVERAGE AGE= 33

So basically the old age argument is not that one sided. And in fact, my first example, the Yanks are YOUNGER than the Sox. The only different is the Sox have three guys who are stoppers, and the Yanks have 5 guys who might give you 2 run-8 inning games, or 8 run-2 inning games.

Posted by David at 02:34 PM | Permalink | Comments (3) | TrackBacks (0)

Watching the Yankees lately is like watching my buddy Jay hit on a chick - painful and embarrassing with a bad ending. Torre takes Mussina out early and Proctor losses the game, Torre gets beat up. He leaves Pettitte in for the 8th and a guy steals HOME while the pitcher is looking at first base. Its crazy. Nothing is going right. And now this stupid NY Post story about Alex Rodriquez being seen with some hot blonde in Toronto. Who freakin cares? The Yankees are tanking..badly. They are 14 and a half games out at the third way mark through the season. And they lose games in every way. Seriously, its like the baseball gods have all of a sudden decided to treat the Yanks like David Duke at a Black Panther rally (thank you Dennis Miller). Why does the universe hate the Yankees now. Like it or not, the Yankees do a great deal of good for baseball. Without the Yankees coming to town, there are teams in this league that would never sell out a game. They turned this franchise, which was rich is winning, into a powerful business. So why do the gods of baseball treat them so badly.

So here is who is on my shit list right now.
Farnsworth. One, because people call him Farsny. Two, because his ERA is way to high for a reliever. Three, because he has two blown saves.

Mike Mussina. Mainly because for someone making as much money as Cashman gave him, he should be lights out more often. Almost a 6 ERA does not cut it with me.

Carl Pavano. Complete and total disaster. 40 million for what? 8 wins? Pavano, meet Kevin Brown. Kevin Brown, meet Carl Pavano. Now both go (expletive deleted) yourselves.

Scott Proctor. Oh, Scotty. Procty. Propro. Or whatever cute nickname they give you there in the Bronx. You were a bad bad boy last week with Mussina pitching. How COULD YOU!!

Robinson Cano. Ok buddy. You had a good rookie year. Start to get that average up. Just a little. Maybe like a hundred points or so. Your terrible defense is fine when you are hitting 350, but not when you are hitting 250. Its that simple.

Bobby Abreau. What the hell happened to you? You're BUNTING?? No. Bobby don't bunt. Bobby hits home runs and speeds around the bases. You and Cano each have 2 home runs so far. What the f**k is going on??

Jason Giambi. Oh, you little roid rouser. Please, give the Yankees their money back, hand in your Yankees security badge. and be on your way. Steinbrenner wanted you, and that was about it.

Some other comments.

Posada. You are having an MVP year. I think you are the best catcher over the past 10 years. At least top 3. And you improved your defense this year.

Jeter. You call Joe Torre "Mr. Torre" or "Coach Torre". You are all class my friend.

ARod. I swear on my name, if you let this thing with the chick in Toronto get in the way of you hitting home runs, which has been a little dry lately, I will put you back on my shit list. And YOU DO NOT WANT ME TO DO THAT!!

Johnny Damon. You are making the Sox look pretty freakin good for not signing you. How about NOT crashing into walls or other players, and staying healthy. That would be nice.

And all of this mamby pamby feel good crap up here in Boston is taking its toll on me. You have EEI homers like John Dennis and Mike Adams talking about the Yankees MORE THAN THE SOX. These are the same guys who blast Mustard and Johnson for taking Yankee callers and now they encourage local idiot fans to call in and rip the Yankees. Trust me, when the Yankees were the bell of the ball and the Sox were playing like some barn burner team, NO ONE in NY called the FAN and ripped them. For some reason the loser nation still has this inferiority complex with the Yankees. And I am not over exaggerating. Listen to the local radio station. It's like a political ad campaign where the strategy is to avoid your own shortcomings by highlighting your opponent'ss weaknesses.

Anyway, I still have faith in the Yankees. I know how hard that is to believe given the situation, but this IS a team that can win 10 or 15 in a row and put together a strong second half, similar to the Twins last year.

That reminds me. I think Torre is going to get fired this year if the Yanks don't turn it around. Not sure if it will be triggered by hitting 18 games back, maybe 20, or if it will come after a 10 game losing streak, or maybe another lifeless series. Not sure. But something has to give, and like the old saying, you can't fire 25 players. Nothing personal Coach, just business.

Posted by David at 01:50 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Its about as bad as I could imagine. They lost 3 in a row to the Angels, and now are getting beat up by Toronto. Proctor made me sick last night, sick to my stomach. And all this happening while the Red Sox parade around town in their ball gowns getting ready for the big dance. I guess this is what it was like to be a Red Sox fan from 1996-2006 (remember, when they won the World Series in 2004, they started off terrible. Winning the World Series was a little like the Yanks in 1996, it happened all of a sudden). The Yanks future looks so bleak that it might take a couple of years before things turn around. And trust me, getting rid of Cashman, while a good idea, is long term and strategic. Firing him this year will not help with this year. Its that simple.

The end is near of the good run. Won the Series in 96, 98, 99, 2000. In it in 2001 and 2003. Playoffs in 95, 97, and every year in the 2000s. Good run, and pathetic the way things are going right now. PATHETIC.

Posted by David at 09:36 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Ok, so now I am feeling sick. Watching the game yesterday, where the Yanks lost to the Mets for the second time in two days, made me sick to my stomach. Not sure what was worse, seeing Cano field like I do in softball or watching the camera pan to Torre whenever something bad happened. I would call it the "Torre Face" but he has the same expression no matter what. I just want him to do a Bobby Valentine just once and roll his eyes or throw out an F bomb or throw his hands up in the air. Show some freakin emotion because trust me, the fans are.

So now it is Rasner that went out. He was hit with a ground ball back to the mound and broke his finger. I think after today, the Yankees will have used 7 rookies as starters. SEVEN. So while the Red Sox have had 5 starters so far this year, the Yankees have used 31. Phil Hughes - DL. Pavano - DL. Mussina - DL. Karstens - DL. Wang - DL. Rasner - DL. And with a pretty shallow bench, a decent but tired bullpen, and offensive studs hitting like T-ball failures, things are bad. And is George Steinbrenner still alive, because the the George that I know would not be quiet during something like this. Hey, I remember the early 90s, and it was not a fun time.

One other thing. WEEI, a sports talk AM radio station in Boston, spends almost as much time talking about the Yankees than they do about the Red Sox. Its incredible. I love EEI and think it has a slight edge on the FAN in NY, but the FAN, even when the Yankees are on top of the world, do not spend that much time talking about the Red Sox. For example, Friday morning EEI had John Smoltz on because Atlanta was in town to play the Red Sox. For about 60% of the interview, they kept asking him about Clemens and the Yankees. It was like a bad Saturday Night Live sketch. It was embarrassing listening to them go back and back and back to Clemens. Even Smoltz sounded frustrated that he was being asked about what the YANKEES were doing when the Braves were in town to play the Red Sox. Usually Mike Adams is the only nut job who focuses constantly on the Yankees, but now all 4 major shows do it. Its weird. Even while the Red Sox are having a historic season and the Yankees are in the tank, they cannot get off of the Yankees. It's like someone who had his heart broken by a pretty girl in 5th grade and still harps on it 30 years later. Hey Red Sox nation, let it go. You are the kings, stop talking about the Yankees!!

Posted by David at 08:06 AM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)

Yes, I am officially concerned.

Posted by David at 07:16 AM | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBacks (0)

Yesterday's Red Sox win made me sick to my stomach. Guthrie pitched a gem, held the Sox to 3 hits in over 8 innings, and the Oriole's pathetic relief pitchers blew the game. Sick to my stomach. And then Pettitte pitched a great game while the Yankee powerful sluggers couldn't do crap against FIVE Seattle pitchers. The entire situation is so frustrating especially since I have to listen to the good ship lollipop crap on EEI.

Only silver lining is Beckett's finger issue. The Yanks have had 10 starting pitchers, the Sox 5. Let's see if happy days continue if Sox starters start to go down.

Ugh. The White Sox and Mets away, then Red Sox back home over the next 10 days. Tough times right now, tough times.

Posted by David at 10:13 AM | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBacks (0)

So the Rocket is coming back to NY. Good, the Yankees need him. Ron Guidry was warming up in the bullpen the other day. So I am going to anticipate the reaction from Red Sox fans.

Red Sox Fan: (expletive deleted)-ing Clemens. (expletive deleted) him!! (expletive deleted)-ing loser wants to pitch for a team in LAST PLACE!! Have a nice (expletive deleted)-ing time, you fat loser. And once again, (expletive deleted)-ing NY outspends everyone to get the best players in baseball. It's just NOT (expletive deleted)-ing FAIR that they can spend so much money and the rest of us who have to live on a shoe string budget make it with what little we (expletive deleted)-ing have.

Yankee Fan: Wow, that's cool. 3 or 4 weeks and he'll be in the rotation with Mussina, Wang, Pettitte and one other guy. When Hughes gets back, looking pretty good. But kind of interesting that he would choose to go to the Yanks with their depleted bullpen, and with Roger pitching maybe 5 innings an outing, over the Red Sox. Hmmm. Interesting. Funny. He HATES Boston THAT much that he would come here with very clear problems in the relief pitchers over Boston and to be clear, Boston would have paid him WHATEVER he asked for if he said those magic words, "Boston, I choose you." But he didn't choose the Red Sox, he decided to pitch for the Yankees. Hmm. Interesting. And that money argument you so conveniently bring up, well, Dice-K wasn't that cheap, neither was JD Drew or Lugo and your third baseman or what you're paying your Jason C-on-my-chest-doesnot-stand-for-catcher Varitek, or your 20 million dollar left fielder. But hey, stick with the money argument, it works well in your own twisted world.

Posted by David at 06:29 PM | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBacks (0)

This is great reading.

I wish I worked for TheOnion.

Posted by David at 02:57 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Dice-K's stock in this town has dropped faster than my chance of scoring with my junior high prom date. He went from potential Cy Young winner to a "good 4 or 5 pitcher".

Posted by David at 09:57 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

I am not making this stuff up. According to this article, the Yankees fired their "director of performance enhancement", Marty Miller. And the first scapegoat is released from the zoo to be hunted, shot, killed and stuffed. Goodbye Marty, we hardly knew ye. Get another career, because yours is probably over.

Now excuse me, I must go and talk to my Manager of Banquet Operations about dinner. And after that I am going to consult with my First Vice President of Libation Enrichment about what's in the mix for tonight, and then right before bed (for my three kids) I'll bring in my Counselor for Story Narration. Oh, and tomorrow I'll call the local Principal for Vehicular Movement for a ride to the airport.

And my plans starts to take shape.

Posted by David at 05:12 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Class, all class.

Posted by David at 11:14 AM | Permalink | Comments (3) | TrackBacks (0)

Yesterday afternoon while in NY someone called Mike and the Mad Dog and said "do you know what is needed to turn this around with the Yankees??"

And they both replied "Texas and Seattle".

Thanks G*d for Texas. They are terrible and was exactly what was needed. Hughes getting hurt sucks and makes me, the biggest Yankee yahoo there is, start to question the new training staff for the Yanks. Wang hurt is hamstring, on the DL. Matsui hurt his hamstring, on the DL. Mussina hurt his hamstring, on the DL. And look at non leg injuries such as Pavano and Karstens with arm injuries. Well, Pavano gets hurt just thinking about pitching and Karstens in back on the DL after getting hit by a Red Sox hitter, which is very suspicious. So the new director for "performance enhancement" whatever the f**k that is, has been called out. Even Mussin, in his typical MO of throwing people under the bus, has made a comment.

So now another pitcher is on the DL. Hopefully with Wang and Mussina back, and if Pettitte can pitch well, the Yanks will climb out of last place within the next couple of weeks. And let's be honest, smart and intelligent Yankee fans and drunk/uneducated/dim Red Sox fans, do you really think the Yankees will stay in last place?? I know Loser Nation feels the Yankees collapse is finally here, but do you really believe it? Do you? Honestly? Tell the truth? Do you really think the Sox will keep up their 640 pace and the Yanks will keep up their 417 pace? Come on, idiots, you KNOW that is not going to happen. Its April, its May, WAHOO its good times in Boston. WE ARE NUMBER ONE, WE ARE NUMBER ONE. Life is good, everyone is doing well, pitching is superb, cars are being over turned, scratch off tickets are being sold, the Yanks and their gazillion dollar payroll are losing. They are old, which, I am sure you didn't know, but the average age of the Red Sox is HIGHER than the average age of the Yankees. So celebrate now you morons, because, and I could be wrong, things might just not stay this way all season.

Which brings me to another point. I like Papelbon. I really do. He is a quiet guy, he is level headed, he throws heat. So are you ready to call his season over because he blew a save like you did with Rivera? Relievers blow saves. Even the good ones. But since Rivera blew TWO right out of the gate, everyone in Red Sox land said his time is over, just like that. But hey, yesterday something happened to your little Rivera, he blew a save. It happens.

Thanks to Barry from Boston, a Red Sox fan with blood linkage to Red Sox history, for making me realize that despite other things in my life, ranting about the Sox is one of the more important things I must do.

Now off to find out when the Rocket lands in NY.

Posted by David at 10:51 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)