Dobrindts Dot Com

I am sitting in a sweltering terminal at Logan waiting for a germ infested flight to Newark, the golden jewel of the east. I don't mind traveling, especially since lately my travel schedule has been very reasonable, but I don't like being uncomfortable, which I am right now. But it's better than being too cold, something which I really don't like.

Anyway, let me tell my quick Verizon story.

I can't say for sure but I don't think I have ever complained about Verizon. Theyvve been my wireless provider for a couple of years, switched from AT&T, and I have been happy with them for the most part. I think the wireless phone companies in general have a terrible model, after all, we pay out of the nose if we go over but get nothing if we don't use the hours. I know there are roll-over plans but they have so many restrictions and are not part of any general plan. But for the most part I have had no issue with Verizon Wireless.

About a month ago I bought new phones for Patti and me. The phones are fine and we got the same model. On a Thursday afternoon I went to the Cambridge Mall by my office and bought a belt clip. I asked Patti if she wanted one and she said she wanted to see mine to determine if it's the kind she likes. So I shelled out 20 bucks from this shady kiosk at the entrance to the mall. You know the kind of set up, they are usually for sunglasses, slippers, cheap jewelry and wireless phone companies. This one had very young Middle Eastern decent guys dressed like they were CEOs but with cheap clothes.

Patti said she was fine with the clip so two days later, on Saturday, I had the kids so decided to stop by and pick one up. I was trying not to lose Ethan in the crowd and carefully keeping Emily from sitting on the floor when I gave the guy my credit card. About 5 agonizing minutes later because this guy was a moron and couldn't figure out how to run a piece of flat plastic through a freakin credit card machine, my 3 year old could do it for Christ's sake, he handed me my slip. I signed it and realized it was for 25 dollars. I asked him how much it was and he acted like we were in a nightclub and I asked if I could kiss his date. He grunted "25 dollars" and I said

"Two days ago it was 20. Why the difference?"

Suddenly another idiot immediately steps in and said that two days ago one of his employees must have given me a discount and that the phone was really 25. I was losing the battle with controlling my two kids so I didn't argue. At first I was going to ask for a refund but I had this vision of 20 minutes going by as they read the credit card machine manual on how to refund a sale and my kids were lost somewhere in the food court.

On Monday, after sitting on it for two days, I was good and worked up. "You know" I thought to myself "Those a-holes charge whatever they want based on how slow or busy it is."

So I did what I always do and wrote Verizon an email. Those lucky bastards. I asked them if this was endorsed by Verizon mothership since this little taco stand in an urban mall was most likely privately own, some kind of cheap franchise.

This is the reply I got...

"Thank you for contacting Verizon Wireless through our website. My name is Adrian, and I am happy to assist you regarding retail price changes.

Since we exist in a retail environment, pricing and promotions change constantly. We cannot guarantee that prices or availability of equipment will not fluctuate. Your feedback provides us with the perfect opportunity to hear exactly what you think, and often leads to improvements you will see in the future.

I apologize for any inconvenience this may present.

As an added convenience, I have also included a list of frequently used self-serve options for simplifying the management of your wireless account. Please note that the numbers listed below are all toll and airtime free.

#768 - #PMT is used to make payments with our automated system

*228 - used to update your PRL or program your handset

#646 - #MIN provides estimate of the local minutes used

#225 - #BAL allows you to check bill balance/recent payment history

*611 - Customer Service and Technical Support

#3282 - #DATA allows you to check Data Usage

It has been a pleasure assisting you today, and we appreciate your business. Should you have additional questions or concerns, please reply to this e-mail.

Sincerely,

Adrian
Verizon Wireless
Customer Service"

Let's put the useless phone codes aside for a second. Including those is so random I actually like it. Let's dissect the first point. "Since we live in a retail environment". Hmm, in kindergarten when I learned about commerce and we played with fake cash registers, I got this point. But I appreciate Verizon customer service for pointing it out to me. I, personally, live in a world that is much more than retail, or I should say I "exist" in this magical world, but to Verizon it's all about retail I guess. Who knows. I was bored and felt empty the second I read the opening salvo. I have shopped before and do, in fact, get the finer point laid out that pricing and promotions change constantly. I have an MBA goshdarnit. So right away I was insulted. But hey, what do they care.

I could comment on the rest of this useless response but why? Really? Why should I? It bugs me to even have given it this much space on my 1 trillion of gigabyte space I have on my hosting company. Suddenly the Galleria Mall/Verizon Kiosk world is more like the painting and carving shops that I found on Jamaica when I was on my honeymoon. If there are a lot of people around, they charge a lot. If no one is around, and you promise to tell others you paid twice for it, then you get it at whatever price you want. When I was in Tijuana I bought a nice wood carving of a dolphin after a conversation like this...

"How much for the dolphin?"

"25 dollars"

I started to walk away.

"17...8...3"

"Sold"

Next time I should try that approach with the idiots on the Verizon kiosk. I feel like I was taken advantage off even though it was only a couple of bucks. I was annoyed but have gotten over it...sort of...and am now ready to move on to my next battle.