I remember this one time when I was much younger. I was driving on the LIE, it was late afternoon and I was moving at a steady pace in the middle lane. Along came this a-hole in a bright red sports car, I forgot the kind but a real guido idiot car, like an Iroc or something, zipping in and out of traffic, cutting people off, giving everyone the macho tough guy look and laughing at people who he put in danger. Probably from West Baby or some other white trash Suffolk county town. If someone beeped at him he would pull in front of the person and slam on his breaks, or he would pull along side the person and cut the wheel so it looked like he was going to hit them. I hated that guy because he thought he was so freakin cool and owned the road and he thought everyone else should get out of his way. About 20 minutes later I drove along and saw him on the side of the road with two cop cars behind him, the a-hole in his wife-beater tank top sitting on the curb while the cops wrote out a handful of tickets. I looked over at that jerk and had this unbelievable feeling of justice and pleasure. This is how I feel at this very moment. Red Sox go down to the White Sox in three straight games. Justice my friends, justice. Beat up on the Yankees all year, talk about how great you are, barely make the playoffs and get swept in the first round. Impressive. Must be real proud.
You’re the meaning in my life, you’re the inspiration…
I was kind of worried that the Red Sox would continue to make it a game. It was a great game up until the time El Duque came in. Then he put down Red Sox players like my buddy Jay drinking free cans of Bud Light on a Saturday afternoon. Then the 9th inning came and I knew, just knew, that this was how it was suppose to end for the Red Sox. Embarrassing top of the 9th following by a quick bottom. Done. Three and out, like my NY Jets.
Saturday, in the park, I knew it was the forth of July…
Orlando Hernandez, you are my hero. Bases loaded, no out, and you get three outs with no one scoring. Bee-freakin-utiful. I love you, unless the Yankees see you, then I hate you.
You’re a hard habit to break…
So it’s over. It would have been better if the Sox never made the playoffs but whatever. It’s still feels good. But to be honest I think the feeling of failure is much less for Red Sox Nation. Maybe only by 10%, but that desperation that has always been here is not at the same level. Winning last year took the edge off. And considering what they went through this year, and trust me, I am not complaining, I think they deserve it AND the Yankees went through worse, but what they went through was tough. No closer. No true ace. Renteria looking like Babe Ruth league.
Hold me now, it’s hard for me to say I’m sorry…
So they lost. Big deal, right Red Sox fans? You won last year. You were in first place most of the regular season so you have that to hang your hat on. And oh yeah, another Wild Card winner banner. Good job this year and I hope you can be proud of the way you conducted yourselves this year. You bunch of no-class, self-serving blow hards.
If you see my walking by, and the tears are in my eyes, look away…
I cannot stand Chris Berman. He makes me feel uncomfortable. He is like a distant cousin at family gatherings who makes odd jokes and comes across as awkward. It’s almost like he is giddy or something. It’s hard to listen to. Then he says things that make no sense, like that the Red Sox run is going to end. What run? One World Series? Is that a run? And why have Mike Piazza, who because he plays in the national league knows nothing about the Yankees or Red Sox, be your color commentary. He said something about seeing Orlando Hernandez during the subway series. Big deal. I like Piazza and he was fine but is that the best they can do. And while we’re on the subject, when are they going to fire Joe Morgan. I put up with his crap during the great Yankees run in 1998 because I knew he was jealous (they were saying the 1998 Yankee team was the best team of all time and his 1975 Reds team was at one point considered the best team of all time), but he is just awful. And he looks like he is high on smack. Jon Miller is kind of creepy too. Right now Joe Buck and Tim McCarver are looking pretty good, and that is not saying a lot. When are they going to give Jerry Remy a national gig. He is the best and that is comparing him to John Sterling and Michael Kay. And I love, LOVE Mike Adams. Still don’t know what happened to Teddy Sarandis though.
So now it’s the Yankee’s turn. I hope they play tonight and Randy Johnson, the Big Unit, comes through. To complete the success of my 4 course meal the Yankees have to win the World Series. Right now I am midway through the pasta dish. The salad was good but what I really want is to plow through the prime rib to get to the crème Brule.
Goodbye Red Sox, you should know what to do for the rest of October, it’s not exactly unfamiliar.